A couple walks the deserted streets of Manhattan, making date night small talk until they spot a body lying on the sidewalk. The man moves in for a closer look but when he glances back to his date the body disappears. One piercing scream later the woman is bloody and dead on the ground. The man spots a figure moving toward him; he thinks it's that hot new serial killer all the kids are talking about, Son of Sam.
Damon steps into the light of a street lamp and corrects him: “Son of Giuseppe, but, close enough” and tears out the guy's throat as Talking Heads'“Psycho Killer” swells on the soundtrack. A caption identifies the date as 1977, as do the flares the victim is wearing.
Title card!
In present-day NYC Elena wonders if Damon dragged her to the city just for nostalgia's sake. He says no, it's because the entire town of Mystic Falls is mad at her. She doesn't care; she just wants to eat. Damon explains that the city is a perfect feeding ground. He operated there for decades and no one ever clocked him. Elena's sure there's a catch but Damon swears there isn't.
Cut to a phone call between the brothers Salvatore in which Damon explains the catch. The redshirt vampire from last episode, Will, brokered in false identities for vampires, of whom Katherine was one. The trip is a ruse to allow Damon to search Will's bar for leads. Stefan is sure Elena will figure it out but Damon insists she'll be too drunk on liquor and blood. Damon cuts the call short to admire Elena's new haircut and it is fabulous.
Werk!
Meanwhile Caroline is on cleanup duty after last episode's cheerleader-soaked rager when that dreary Klaus shows up and totally catches her drinking the dregs from a random red Solo cup. He chides her about the unsanitariness of it all and she defiantly downs another.
Atta girl!
They blah blah about Tyler while I count the days before the Originals depart for Nawlins. She orders him out but Stefan's the one who invited him over. He drops the bomb that Silas is in town.
Where he (in the form of dead Professor Shane) is working with Bonnie on controlling her Expression magic. She's completely creeped that he's wearing a dead man's face, which he insists is to help her trust him. Because Shane was so very trustworthy.
Bonnie starts to freak out, saying Silas is inside her head but he claims that because she's a witch he can't make her do anything she doesn't already want to do. He reminds her about Jeremy and how she promised to bring him back by destroying The Other Side. She balks at having to kill 12 people to complete the “Expression triangle” but he promises that they'll come back too.
Klaus is unconvinced that Silas has followed them home, just because every blood bag in the tri-county area has gone missing. And even if it is Silas Klaus stores it squarely in Somebody Else's Problem territory. Stefan tweaks the mythology, saying that Silas wants to die and spend eternity with his true love but since he's supernatural if he dies he'll be trapped on The Other Side. Tell that to Jenna. Oh wait you can't tell that to Jenna because even though she's supernatural she isn't in The Other Side. Anyway. Stefan continues that if Silas destroys The Other Side altogether and dies he'll get what he wants, but at the cost of restoring every other supernatural being currently there. Caroline chimes in to remind Klaus how many of them will have a hate-on for him for sending them to The Other Side to begin with. Klaus is now on board the “Stop Silas” train. Stefan says that to do that they have to prevent the third massacre of 12.
Damon and Elena enter Will's dive establishment, imaginatively named Billy's. The place is deserted and Elena is unimpressed with the lack of hedonism in the middle of a Sunday afternoon. Damon assures her that the punk rock nihilists will be there soon, which he knows because he spent most of the 1970s hanging out here and venues never change in the course of 30 years. Elena's kind of surprised by this tidbit from Damon's past and he explains that Warhol's factory was too clean and he could never figure out the hanky code at the Mineshaft but Billy's was just right.
Flash back to Billy's in the 1970s where a band that in no way looks like a punk band in the 70s plays for an audience that in no way looks like a punk crowd from the 70s. Seriously, the costumes for “Mamma Mia” on Glee last night were more authentic.
Damon plops down a couple of IDs on Will AKA Billy's stand, noting they're both for 5'7” brunettes. Who do we know who fits that description? Billy says they're for a “runner” who needs more identities than the average vampire. Damon spots his next meal and makes for it. Billy warns him to be discrete but Damon says their “feed at the club in exchange for murdering people and taking their licenses” does not include discretion as a condition.
Damon reaches his prey, a non-punk fighting with another non-punk and takes him from behind but before he can sink in his fangs he is taken from behind in turn. He spins around to find Stefan's old friend Lexi, who chides him for his sloppiness.
In the present Elena's incredulous that Damon got “Lexied” but before he can elaborate goddamn Rebekah takes him from behind, slamming his head into the bar. Can a man not have one weekend away from the ball and chain? “Following a lead without me? Poor form, Damon.”
Damon's all why I never, the very idea and insists he only brought Elena to NYC to feed because his history in the city has a certain resonance with her situation.
1977. Lexi follows Damon and his adorable anarchy t-shirt out the back of Billy's. She twigs that Damon's yanked his emotion chip and that it's led him to be a danger to himself and others that's been heard tell of all the way back in Mystic Falls. Which is why Stefan mustered up exactly enough give-a-damn to send her after him. She wonders what great emotional trauma led to his decision and Damon snarls that he gets how Lexi and Stefan have this savior-saved relationship going but he doesn't want or need her help. She's all too bad, you're stuck with me.
Rebecca opines that Lexi sounds dreadful and honey, I'll take a thousand of her over one of you any day of the week. Elena guesses that after many long darks nights of the soul Lexi convinced Damon to re-install his chip. He's all spoiler alert and goes off in search of another drink.
Becky wonders if Elena's buying his story and she's not, since she's not stupid. Rebekah replies, “Let's not say things we don't mean” and bitch, you've been played more times than a slot machine in an Atlantic City restroom so shut up. Elena knows Damon's lying so she's lying right back.
Caroline, Stefan and Klaus search Shane's office for a line on Silas's next move. Caroline wonders if they're looking for some sort of super-villain to-do list with “massacre 12 people” somewhere after “pick up dry cleaning.” Klaus replies that speaking as a villain he generally has a minion pick up the dry cleaning. Snerk.
Caroline further wonders why Klaus is necessary and Stefan notes that when fighting an immortal with unknown abilities it can be a good thing to have an unkillable vampire/werewolf hybrid on your team. Debatable. Klaus concurs then needles Stefan about what a grand time Damon is probably having with Elena in New York. Stefan replies that Damon knows what he's doing. Klaus doubts that, noting the allure that darkness can have for even the purest of hearts.
For instance...
In literally the first book she checks Caroline finds what they're looking for. It's a diagram of an “Expression triangle” with each point representing a massacre. One point is the humans at the farm, point two is the hybrids and Caroline is horrified when she realizes that the third point is...
Witches, as Bonnie exposits in the next scene. She's not happy but nowhere near as displeased as she was the first time the idea of killing twelve people was suggested to her on Numbskull Island. Silas again assures her that their deaths will only be temporary since destroying The Other Side will bring them back. She's worried that she isn't strong enough. He insists that she is but that withstanding the combined power of a dozen witches trying to strip her of Expression won't be easy.
Before they can discuss it further Mayor Rudy arrives home. He thinks “Shane” is working to control Bonnie's powers and asks how the session went. Silas says it didn't go well but he has another idea. Rudy doesn't want to hear it and orders “Shane” out. Bonnie loses control a bit and busts a few light bulbs and “Shane” explains that this is exactly the lack of control that led to “his” “wife's” death. Bonnie asks her dad to call Abbie. “We need witches. A lot of them.”
Present-day Billy's and the three amigos are getting their drink on while some generic band plays for an equally generic crowd. The CW version of hedonism I guess. Elena's surprised that Damon's attempt to deprogram her allows for drinking and he explains that while being Stefan's sober sister Lexi couldn't drink he was under so such restriction and neither is Elena. What follows is an intercutting of Elena biting on a woman in the present while Lexi and Damon share a woman with an afro puff to die for in the past.
The bands and the crowds from the different eras are so generic and similar that I have trouble telling when we're in which era. At some point in the present Elena and Damon share her victim and then Elena and Rebekah share her. Probably the closest this show is likely to get to the “lesbian vampire” trope, more's the pity. Damon uses the ladies' distraction to slip into the manager's office in search of leads on Katherine.
In the deep dark woods Bonnie meets with a witch called Asia, because of course she is. She was a friend of Bonnie's mother until Abbie was turned. Abbie won't be coming as this is witch business and there's no budget for her. Bonnie worries that a single witch won't be enough but Asia's brought along the rest of the Secret Circle.
Having finished sharing their meal and sending her on her way, Elena and Becky note that Damon's given them the slip. Elena hopes he finds what he's looking for so she can take it away from him. Becks supposes Elena will need her help to do that. Elena's all, don't you hate me? Rebekah replies that she hated the “moral, self-righteous version” of her (me too!) but likes the newly amoral Elena just fine.
Elena asks why Rebekah would want to take the cure and she says it's because she wants a family of her own one day. Jesus, can you imagine Rebekah as a mother? Elena explains that this is why she won't work with Rebekah. Where she, Elena, is freed from emotion and the entanglements that go with it and is thus able to work with ruthless efficiency Rebekah is a tattered velveteen rabbit who is too awash with emotional instabilities who can't hatch a decent evil scheme because she's too busy weeping over prom dresses and Hallmark Channel movies.
Caroline marks the location of the farm massacre and the hybrid slaughter on a map and completes an equilateral triangle (without a protractor! Impressive!) to mark the spot of the final massacre. Klaus doles out a F in geometry, noting that a second triangle can be formed in the opposite direction, giving a second possible location. Caroline's all oh phooey and googly-eyed for a second before Stefan returns. No luck finding Bonnie but after talking to Mayor Rudy he has a line on Silas.
Asia starts the cleansing, asking Bonnie to call on the spirits for help. Bonnie begins a chant but is immediately wracked with a spasm. Asia starts in chanting and calls on the rest of the Secret Circle to join with her while Bonnie's on the ground hilariously going “I changed my mind.” The Secret Circle joins in the chant and Bonnie continues to spasm. Her eyes go white, which is a nice change from the usual black these shows tend to use. Asia cries out, “We need more Calgon!” (Ancient Chinese secret, huh?) and the Secret Circle ups their chant; torches blaze up around them.
As Stefan heads for one of the possible murder triangle points he calls Damon to update him on the “Silas is wearing dead Shane's face” situation. Damon just now realizes that the ID s he swiped for a 5'7” brunette were for Katherine. He roots through Will's files but they're organized by date of birth which makes perfect sense but Damon can't recall Katherine's birthday. Stefan immediately remembers June 5, 1473. Ah, but was that under the Julian or the Gregorian calendar? Damon finds Katherine's file, which includes a list of previous addresses, some from as recently as two months ago. They're mostly PO boxes but that at least narrows the search.
Damon lets Stefan know he'll be returning in the morning but for now has to get back to the girls and start pretending he's having a good time. Stefan asks if he's not having a good time but before Damon can reply Elena enters the office so Damon hangs up. Elena guesses that Stefan's worried but Damon says he's more jealous upon thinking back to what happened between Lexi and Damon in the 70s.
He VOs that every night for months Lexi would get him drunk on liquor and blood and then try to therapize him. We drop in on one such session after closing time at Billy's, where Lexi is after Damon to tell her about Katherine, all about Katherine, how she walks, talks, thinks eats, sleeps. Damon can't understand why she cares so much and she reminds him of how they met back in 1864. Stefan had just made Damon turn and killed their father and was eating half of Mystic Falls. Damon asked Lexi to help Stefan because he cared about him. Now it's Damon who needs help and Stefan who cares.
She steers the talk back to Katherine but Damon says that there's no point in talking about her because she's not the one he cares about. Lexi believes Damon's re-installed his chip and he agrees, saying that his feelings for her grew slowly but now he understands what they are and this is such an obvious line of bullshit that it cheapens the character that Lexi is falling for it.
In the present Damon tells Elena that he and Lexi had sex on every flat surface in Billy's including the roof. This inspires Elena to grab a bottle and head for the roof herself. Damon leads the way and Elena catches Rebekah's eye across the room and mock toasts her.
Klaus and Caroline head for the other possible murder triangle points and discover they are at the wrong one. I want to know whether this is Caroline's point on the map or Klaus's probably more than I should. They jibber jabber at each other and Caroline says something about how people who do terrible things are terrible people.
Stefan arrives at the proper murder triangle point and tells Asia that Bonnie is working for Silas and plans to kill them all. Asia whips out a knife, declaring that Bonnie can't be saved. Stefan moves to intervene but Asia slams him with a Mystic Migraine and flings him back into the trees.
Klaus and Caroline meet up with Stefan but there's no way to stop the witches without killing them. So Caroline kills them, because Bonnie has to remain murder-free if she has any hope of redemption. She zips up and takes Asia from behind, plunging Asia's knife into her chest. The rest of the Secret Circle falls like dominoes and white-eyed Bonnie intones “The triangle is complete.”
Up on Billy's roof Elena initiates sexual intercourse with Damon but it's only to get the address list out of his back pocket, which involves lingering shots on Damon's ass so I approve. Damon does not and busts her, saying he invented the “have sex on Billy's roof” gag.
Which leads us back to 1977 where Lexi awakens with a sizzle when the rising sun strikes her. No daylight ring, which seems odd that she wouldn't have acquired one at some point. She zips to the door but can't get it open. An awakened Damon says he spent most of the night reinforcing it. Stranding her on the roof is his payback for the six months she's been nagging him.
There follows in the present some frankly very confusing chit chat from which I take away that Damon's emotion chip went back online when he saw Lexi back in season one and felt a rush of guilt (and then killed her to deal with it) and that a similar potential future rush of guilt is awaiting Elena unless she takes the cure, or something. Like I said, confusing.
Elena notes that the things that motivated Damon to make Lexi fall in love with him are emotions which he supposedly didn't have at the time, and I am officially signed off on trying to understand how the emotion chip works. It doesn't make sense, it never made sense, so now it's just a thing that exists and I'm done worrying about it.
And then Rebekah takes Damon from behind, snapping his neck.
Bonnie awakens to find Stefan keeping vigil at her bedside. Her memory's been wiped back to being in Silas's tomb watching Jeremy trying to pry the cure out of his hands. Stefan has the unenviable task of breaking the news of Jeremy's death to her all over again.
Klaus and Caroline wrap up burying the dead witches. Klaus chastises her for giving Silas the last fuel rod he needs to power his evil scheme but Caroline insists that she was saving her best friend's life. It hits Caroline hard right then that she's killed a dozen people and she starts to break down. Klaus observes that she seems in need of comfort and coldly wishes that she find someone who isn't a terrible person to offer it. Caroline breaks in half and leaves and Klaus has exactly enough decency to feel bad about being a dick before he senses a presence.
He turns to face Silas.
Damon revives on Billy's roof and calls Elena. She and Rebekah steal his car and head off in search of Katherine. Damon calls Stefan to update him and Stefan informs him that the massacre happened.
Klaus informs Silas that he doesn't have the cure but Silas is sure he knows who does and since the last thing Klaus wants is to have the cure forced on him he's incentivized to bring the cure to Silas. Klaus says he isn't afraid of Silas and Silas pulls out the one thing Klaus does fear, the super-stake. Klaus wonders how he obtained it and Silas replies that Rebekah's mind is easier to read than Klaus's. She's a picture book and he's À la recherche du temps perdu.
Klaus attacks but Silas zips away before taking Klaus from behind, driving the super-stake deep into his back.
As Klaus writhes in agony Silas snaps off the tip of the indestructible super-stake and leaves it embedded in Klaus as a souvenir. Which is stupid on any number of levels, including but not limited to that the stake is supposed to be indestructible and that by leaving a piece behind he's providing his enemies a potential weapon. Silas bids Klaus a good day and departs.
I love a good flashback episode but this was not a good flashback episode. The show made no effort to represent the era of the 1970s beyond putting the first male victim in period clothing, and if you're going to set part of an episode in a punk rock club then the people in the club should have some kind of punk aesthetic. No one in 1970s Billy's even had a frakkin' Mohawk.
I have to commend Nina Dobrev again this week for a strong performance. Also worthy of mention was Joseph Morgan who was actually able to make me care about an Original for a moment.
Plotwise I am very curious as to whether and how Bonnie's memory loss will affect things.
Next week : Katherine and Elena, together again! Can't wait!
