Previously, on Smash
We open on a post-coital Karen shuffling to the kitchen in a t-shirt to make coffee. It's not the shirt she swiped from Jimmy Charming last episode, and shouldn't it be? Jimmy shuffles out after her wrapped in an afghan that you know Karen's grandmother knitted for her never dreaming it would end up wrapped around some greasy half-naked dude who defiled her granddaughter atop it.
They grossly let us know that they banged repeatedly and for hours and are about to do it again when the buzzer rings. Karen hits the intercom. It's her father (Dylan Baker), flown in from Iowa for a conference on milk machine technology or whatever the hell it is people from Iowa talk about. Karen's panicked but Jimmy thinks letting Dad know he defiled his daughter repeatedly atop her grandmother's quilt is the funniest thing ever. She forces him into his clothes and out the window, but not before Dad makes it to the door and catches a glimpse of Jimmy's leather jacket-clad back on the fire escape.
Ivy and Sam are on their way to rehearsal when Ivy's phone rings. It's her mother, former Broadway star Leigh Conroy (Bernadette Peters). Ivy ignores the call because she's still mad that Leigh didn't come to the Liaisons opening. She didn't even send a card; Sam suggests that Hallmark doesn't make a “Can't make it because I'm jealous of you” card. He also exposits that he's back with Bombshell.
Stage Manager Linda intercepts them outside the rehearsal building, saying that Tom and Eileen need to see her immediately.
Upstairs Julia is composing an email to Scott Nichols (Jesse L. Martin) when she's supposed to be revising today's scenes. Tom says that her story with Scott is over. He compares them to him and Sam; he knows he hurt Sam but he's giving him space. Julia is not on board with a similar plan for herself and Scott but before they can get any further into it Stage Manager Linda announces Ivy's arrival.
Julia is aghast that Tom hasn't told Ivy but he insists he didn't want to do it over the phone and besides “she” wanted to talk to Ivy first. The door opens and Ivy's all she who? Julia, Tom and Eileen draw her aside and assure her it's nothing bad (it's something bad). They've cast Marilyn's mother. Ivy's hoping it's Patti Lupone and before Eileen can fully disabuse her of that notion Hurricane Conroy makes landfall.
Everyone insists that it's totally up to Ivy but she has to understand that without Leigh the show will wither and die and everyone associated with it will die penniless and alone, so whataya say, kid. Ivy: “I say...yay?” Ivy leads Leigh off to introduce her to the company while the cabal hopes that the mood of false conviviality will last long enough for the Times photographer who's shooting for the cover story that Eileen's buddy Richard Francis (Jamey Sheridan) is writing.
Karen is rehearsing “Broadway Here I Come” at Hit List rehearsal. In the background Kyle and Blake are being shmoopy.
"Just one night of love and I'm rid of that terrible knit cap."
Derek and Scott arrive and Derek calls a halt. Mr. Cartwright does that wildly enthusiastic proud papa applause thing and Derek thinks it's adorable that the little people approve. He suggests Mr. Cartwright attend the benefit fundraiser that's happening tonight and Scott notes that he's adding Ana doing the Diva's song to the program. Ana is sure there isn't enough time to get the number performance-ready, as if time has any meaning in the Smashiverse. Derek sees that Jimmy is absent.
Cut to Jimmy heading for rehearsal on his phone with Kyle. He seems to have accessed an emotion other than “snarly” but his happiness fades when he catches sight of the guy who assaulted him when he went to retrieve his notebooks back in episode two. Jimmy beats a hasty retreat right into the title sequence.
Tom approaches Ivy, sitting with Sam, and apologizes for the awkwardness, saying his hands were tied by Eileen. Ivy's all whatevs and leaves, followed by Sam without a word. Tom calls places for Ivy and Leigh's first scene. He invites Leigh to hold her script but she's already off book. Ivy's all, of course you are. Leigh asks where she should stand. Ivy: “Right behind me.”
Hit List. Ana is playing piano while some chorines crawl across the top of it.
Derek and Karen chat about the number a moment and Karen exposits that her father thinks she made a mistake leaving Bombshell. Derek suggests she bring him to the benefit so he can get a better sense of the show.
Ana goes off for a costume fitting just as Jimmy arrives. Karen says hey and Jimmy blows her off.
Bombshell. Ivy and Leigh are playing a scene where Norma Jean is trying to convince Gladys to let the neighbors adopt her away like it's a scene from Pollyanna. Bobby speaks for the nation when he says, “This is boring. I want my catfight already.”
Tom pulls them aside because he can't understand their artistic choices. He reminds them of Gladys's mental instability and about how she once tried to kidnap Norma Jean by stuffing her in a duffle bag, but the ladies insist that the scene is all about how much they love each other.
Meanwhile Eileen takes a call from Richard. It's about doing the Times story but it's really about letting them flirt and setting up Richard as Eileen's new love interest.
Hit List. Karen checks in with Jimmy who says it's all good but he wants to keep their sexing on the DL. Before they can get too into it Jimmy spots his assailant and hustles him out. Jimmy apparently owes the gentleman in the soiled wife beater some money. He pleads that he needs time to put it together. Wife Beater says, “I'll see ya soon” and drops Jimmy a saucy wink that makes me hope that the debt has something to do with Jimmy's previous life as a man-whore.
Derek catches up with Mr. Cartwright (“Call me Roger.”) and offers him a ticket to the benefit, asking him to give Karen the chance to show him why she left Bombshell. Roger non sequiturially replies, “Nice jacket.” Puzzled, Derek thanks him and returns to rehearsal.
Bombshell. Leigh catches up with Sam and in the course of their conversation Sam learns that Tom lied about being forced to accept her. She asks if there's any chance he and Tom will reconcile and I'm thinking that the answer is probably no after that reveal.
Yeah, we're gonna break this shit apart in about twenty seconds
Eileen invites Julia to the benefit and she leaps at the chance to stalk Scott there. Tom calls places for another run at the adoption scene and pulls the pin on the mother/daughter relationship grenade, asking the ladies to draw on their own relationship to inform the scene.
Leigh talks about how she performed in Anything Goes through her first trimester pregnant with Ivy and won the Tony at age 27. Ivy: “On what calendar?” Leigh next tells of how Ivy got fat when she was eight, while Leigh was playing Maria in The Sound of Music. Ivy was desperate to play a von Trapp child so Leigh had the producer audition her for Kurt.
Tom tries to get them back to the scene but Ivy fires back with how Leigh watched Ivy play Little Red in Into the Woods across from an actress who got a standing ovation. Leigh told 12-year-old Ivy that if she'd been born with that kind of talent she'd have gotten a standing ovation too but she wasn't so she'd just have to work that much harder. The chorines are appalled.
Tom again tries to get them into the scene, like that's gonna happen, but Ivy tells Leigh that even now when Ivy's made it, Leigh has to be there to overshadow her. She continues that whatever happens, at least she knows that the best part of her career is ahead of her and she walks away.
Karen sings “Broadway Here I Come” at the benefit and is well-received. Derek tells Roger that she's a star. He replies that she could have been had Karen not thrown away her Broadway dream to follow Derek. Derek protests that he played no part in her decision but Roger fires back that a man would step up and admit his part while a boy would sneak out a window.
Scott congratulates Jimmy on the performance and Jimmy asks for an advance on his cut of the show. Scott explains that this is non-profit theatre. He asks if something's wrong but Jimmy deflects.
Scott spots Julia and cracks a joke about a restraining order. They chit chat and he calls her out for trying too hard to make it up to him.
Richard arrives late and finds Eileen. Flirting commences.
Ana performs the Diva's number, “Reach For Me”. She's wearing this crazy skirt and when she grasps a handle that descends from the ceiling she rises into the air and the skirt unfurls into bolts of cloth that she and the chorines use to perform an aerial dance.
I like the song. I like the dance. But I don't like the song and the dance together. The dance is extremely visually compelling and had it been performed to the same music sans lyrics it would have worked perfectly but the lyrics are not strong enough to compete with the visual.
While this is going on Jimmy diverts the cloak room attendant and raids the coat check in search of ill-gotten booty. Derek busts him. He's dismissive but when Jimmy admits he's in trouble Derek is intrigued. Jimmy confesses that he used to work for Wife Beater but he broke free a year ago. He stole $8,000 to make the break. Derek asks why Jimmy didn't come to him since they're friends now. Before Jimmy can really process that the cloak room attendant returns. Derek covers by saying they're just getting their coats and anvils, “They match” as he tosses Jimmy his jacket.
Julia and Scott intersect again. Flirting commences.
Derek introduces Roger to Jimmy and Roger clocks the twin jackets.
They're douchebags! Identical douchebags, all the way!
Eileen, Richard, Scott, Jimmy, Kyle, Derek and Ana cluster up. Richard is enchanted with Ana and Kyle says she's huge in the second act. He departs and Jimmy can't believe that Kyle said that since the Diva only has one song in Act I. Scott decrees that whatever Richard wants, Richard gets and Richard wants more Ana.
Richard also wants Eileen. To remove any conflict of interest he decides to assign the Bombshell story to another writer and find something else to write about which obviously will be Ana which will set up a huge rivalry between Ana and Karen that will undoubtedly pay off huge in season three.
Bombshell. Leigh and Ivy spar again some more and long story short they need Leigh's name to open the show. Ivy responds that while that may be true once Bombshell is over she'll never need Leigh again.
Apres-Hit List. Roger tells Karen he understands now why she left Bombshell, to be with Jimmy. He's concerned that she's making a mistake but she replies that if it is a mistake she's already made it.
Hurricane Conroy, Day Two. Leigh and Ivy rehearse a different scene, after Norma Jean has become Marilyn. Gladys wishes she could edit the days of their lives into a better story, launching into a new number, “Hang the Moon”. The number starts out in the rehearsal space but soon shifts into fantasy.
The number serves as a reconciliation piece both for Gladys and Marilyn and for Leigh and Ivy and for that function it works. It calls in thematic notes from “Second Hand White Baby Grand”, which raises questions as to where these two numbers fall within the show's structure. I find the song a little treacly but maybe after a couple of hours of emotional manipulation Broadway style I'd feel differently.
Derek hands Jimmy Charming eight grand in cash. Jimmy departs and runs into Karen and Roger, who tells him his show is “interesting” and maybe he and Karen can have dinner with Roger and the missus on opening night.
Jimmy wonders why Karen told Daddy about them but she explains he spotted him out the window. He acknowledges that he's been weird lately but promises things will be better going forward.
Derek hails Roger a cab. Roger apologizes to Derek, saying he thought he and Karen were involved, but he knows now he was wrong. Derek clocks that Karen and Jimmy totally did it despite Derek's threats.
Julia meets Scott at a diner. He asks her to serve as dramaturg for Hit List since he needs to expand the Diva role into a second lead. She agrees to read the book.
Bombshell. Tom apologizes to Ivy for all the drama he's created. She replies that she knows he could have kept Leigh out and didn't and that working with Leigh has been torture. He defends that he did what was right for the show and she says she is too. They're no longer friends.
Jimmy pays off Wife Beater, who expresses surprise. Wife Beater invites Jimmy in for a farewell f*ck but Jimmy declines. So Wife Beater offers him a bump for the road, which Jimmy accepts.
And it turns out that “Collins” is not Jimmy's real last name. But Wife Beater promises to keep Jimmy's secret, and drug dealers are so reliable.
Smash moves to Saturdays beginning this week, so tune in then and hit AE/TBL Sunday morning for the recap. Be prepared to discuss LIZA.
