Yes, I'm almost sorry about these weekly, dumbfounded recaps of The Newsroom's bewildering character patterns. Because who cares? So the show's a little preachy and pedantically sexist! So are plenty of people I don't need to bring up, like Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, or maybe Judd Hirsch around his friends and family. Whatever. Well, unfortunately, the bravado with which The Newsroom dishes its laughable characterizations is kind of spellbinding. It's so direct and, worse, unapologetic. And now the show's women -- who've been insistently professional and totally histrionic since day one -- are rankling my duvet with gigantic workroom snafus. Here are my five un-favorites from last episode.
1. Maggie got all the Georgias mixed up! LOL (Lots of love.)
What is going on with Maggie (Alison Pill)? How are we supposed to feel about her? Like she can't get it together, but her heart's in the right place and she only weeps at the really ethical issues? How does that make her different from McKenzie (Emily Mortimer)? I'm perfectly willing to accept that Maggie is a humanly imperfect employee of the newsroom, but Aaron Sorkin's way of establishing her flaws are condescending and unbelievable.
In today's episode, she explained how a desk producer saw Will yell at her for mixing up the country of Georgia with the U.S. state of Georgia. "You thought the Russians invaded Atlanta?" Jim Harper (John Gallagher Jr.) asked her. "In retrospect it seems farfetched!" she replied. Now, that's supposed to be a comic moment, but it's pretty obviously the wrong kind of comedy for Newsroom. As in: It is not endearing to watch the show's yammering lackey flounder like such a -- and there's no other word for it -- loser.
At this point it's clear the show wants to be 30 Rock as much as it wants to be Broadcast News, and a dogged, allegedly respectable character like Maggie can't pull off both Liz Lemon's asides and sincere professionalism. And she certainly can't mistake "LOL" for meaning "lots of love," which she also says she did. Oh, LMAO. (Lord, More Asinine Offerings!)
2. Sloan got a century-old actress confused with Madonna's gal pal of '88.
Sloan Sabbith (Olivia Munn) is a very serious journalist with TWO Ph.Ds. We know this because she once screamed it out of nowhere to prove that Aaron Sorkin believes women can go to school twice. But this week when she was given the chance to anchor for an evening, she made a small gaffe when recalling the show's second guest, Sandra Bernhard. Don (Thomas Sadoski) said Sandra's name, and Sloan replied, "She died a hundred years ago!" Close! Sarah Bernhardt died a hundred years ago. Ohhhhh. Names! They often sound alike. Except here's the thing: Literally no one has ever confused Sarah Bernhardt and Sandra Bernhard. Not ever, definitely. It's just like when McKenzie guessed that Don Quixote was written in French. No, McKenzie! French books sound French, is the thing. Sarah Bernhardt, a French actress, would read them -- but NOT to Jerry Lewis in The King of Comedy. Get it?
3. Maggie made a reference to The Sting, which one man thought was stupid.
It is not a good day to make pop culture references in the newsroom, in case you haven't been paying attention. Sputtering, bleary-eyed integrity bandit Maggie is a big part of the problem. During a meeting, she yipped, "Or to mess with him, like in The Sting!" she declared, hopefully. Jim Harper stared her down and retorted, "That's nothing like what happened in The Sting." Really, that was the end of it. Good guess though, Maggie the Dogged.
4. Sloan made a reference to Three Mile Island, which reminds us that Jane "You Just Got CHINA SYNDROME'd" Fonda didn't appear again.
Naturally, all these obvious lady problems pale in comparison to the fact that Jane "Well, great news, I'm Jane Fonda" Fonda yet again did not appear on The Newsroom. It's been three weeks now. Three weeks without glorious CEO Leona Lansing, played by Henry Fonda's scorching daughter. And that fact was made all the more obvious when Sloan, recovering from an aggressive spat with a Japanese pundit on air about a level-7 nuclear meltdown, made reference to Three Mile Island, the nuclear disaster essentially foreshadowed by Jane Fonda's 1979 journo thriller The China Syndrome.
The only way Sloan's shout-out could've been more depressing is if she added, "This is more upsetting than when Maggie Smith won that Oscar for The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie!" Because we all know Jane deserved that hardware for They Shoot Horses, Don't They? You weren't born yesterday. You know this. (For the record, the show has now made reference to Broadcast News and The China Syndrome. Can Shattered Glass and Newsies be far behind?)
5. The most irksome line of the night: "Help me, I need wisdom."
Sloan! Sloan. You are being the most annoying right now. After Sloan's blowup with the Japanese pundit results in his dishonorable firing overseas, Sloan feels awful for eviscerating him on air, turns to Will, and murmurs, "I need wisdom." I need wisdom. The women are now asking professionally perturbed, blisteringly heroic, clearly awful Will for wisdom. McKenzie tries to intervene with a meek "I have wisdom," but Sloan thinks she's a trainwreck and says it. Hey, Sloan: You just actively asked for wisdom from a tantrum-throwing bigshot who loves his own problems. I want to burn you at the stake like French saint Sandra of Bernhard.
I'll give last night's episode one thing, though:
Though Will's on-air battle with Rick Santorum's gay representative was way too heavy-handed, it made some interesting (albeit judgmental) points about what it takes to be openly gay and stand up for a guy who thinks homos are degenerate sewer chimps. I can extend a couple of golf claps that way for addressing the issue, even in the most self-congratulatory possible.
