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This week's episode begins 4 years ago, as Emily and Aiden try to survive one of Takeda's tests ... this time navigating a maze while escaping ... ravenous huskies? Actually, these pups look like they'll attack you to get sloppy kisses. And is it just me, or does Takeda seem to model his tests around video game scenarios? They narrowly miss becoming kibble, but Aiden feigns an injury, thus forcing Emily to let her guard down, and Aiden takes advantage of her vulnerability to win the challenge. She complains to Takeda that he cheated, but Takeda yada yada "he exploited his adversary's weakness."
Flash forward to now ... or a few months ago ... or whenever this time period is supposed to take place, and Emily is not happy at all that Aiden has rescued her from the White Haired Man. She tells him she doesn't need Takeda's nanny protecting her. Never mind that he did just save her life and while she's screaming that she doesn't need her help, she's standing barefoot in a pool of blood.
They go over the WHM's belongings, and discover that his real name is Gordon Murphy, which sounds directly from Irish Name Generator, and finds Victoria's bogus passport and his cell phone, which was pierced by Aiden's bullet and is now useless. Emily wants to hold on to it, though, thinking it could provide a clue to finding her mother.
Emily turns her back on Aiden for a moment to take a call from Victoria (she's calling to invite Emily to the house to discuss the plans for duping the press), and he snatches a motel key from Gordon's pants. Really Ems? Turning your back? Takeda is weeping.
And tears will continue to flow as now Aiden makes the mistake of turning his back on Emily, and gets knocked in the noggin with a bottle.
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Meanwhile, Declan and Trey are busy robbing another Hampton's house in the middle of the night. These two crazy kids have become quite the expe ... wait a minute. Did I miss a few scenes? Last week Trey asked a conflicted Declan to hold on to a necklace for him, causing pangs of guilt, and now ... they're cat burglars? Unfortunately, their heist i short-lived when the owners comes home and they have to make a hasty exit.
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Amanda is sniffing a bottle of Jim Beam and lamenting the fact that she's going to have to get her breasts out in the bar next to the beer tape ... and not for fun this time, but to nurse the baby. She wants a nursery, and Jack offers to makeover Declan's room. But he refuses to use the $5,000 gift certificate Charlotte gave them for the baby, saying they won't take Grayson charity. Yes, this storyline is deadly dull, but I can endure it as long as they keep giving us this.
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It's happy family time for the Graysons as they sit down for a breakfast of pain and "pain de mie," and discuss Victoria's upcoming press conference, which Conrad describes as "Your mother is inviting every vulture in the sky for a feast, attempting to capitalize on the one thing she’s never really had: sympathy." Ashley hands everyone talking points (basically ... stay on script), and Victoria tells everyone that they're grounded for the duration. It's a foolproof plan.
In one of the more intriguing scenes of the night, Victoria visits Charlotte in her room, and when Charlotte asks, "Everyone else knows what really happened to you, why can't Daniel?," Victoria explains that the last time push came to shove, Daniel sided with Conrad. And excuse me, but what is this $5,000 gift certificate for baby stuff? Charlotte tells her that it's for Amanda, because they are, after all, sisters. Victoria replies with this cryptic eyeroll:
Hmm ... Victoria being flippant? Or is there something more? Or is it something obvious that I missed ... which is always a possibility.
Poor Aiden wakes up in a dumpster that's about to be emptied into a garbage truck, and escapes in the nick of time, but finds a one-way plane ticket to Japan stapled to his ass. Call me crazy, but I think it may be a warning sign from Emily.
He takes the key he got from the White Haired Gordon and makes his way to the motel, where he finds the flight recorder data from Victoria's plane (there was an earlier scene in which we saw that the WHG had contacted Victoria while she was on board, and instructed her to depart before it blew up. That's where the "let's get Charlotte's insurance money" scam first started).
As he's leaving, he's approached by the motel owner ... Kara Clarke! He pretends to be a local cop and shows her a pic of the WHG. She mumbles something (oh wait, It's Jennifer Jason Leigh, of course she's going to mumble something) about him being a guest about a week ago. He leaves, and she immediately calls the local cops and discovers that he was lying.
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Emily visits Amanda with a request: She's been banished from the Grayson manor, and wants her to deliver "one of my father's journals. Or at least, my version of it." Victoria is holding her press conference, and Emily gives Amanda a press pass, and instructs her to deliver the journal to Charlotte. Amanda balks, saying that she promised Jack she wouldn't have anything to do with that family. Emily tells her, "Lie. You've done it before," alluding to the paternity results.
Emily also finally meets Padma, who is now clearly after Nolan. When Nolan tells Ems that the sim card on the WHG's phone is all he could retrieve (and all that was on it was Gordon's own phone number), Emily tells him to bring the card and phone to her, as they could still prove useful. Nolan tells Emily, "I love it when you're bossy. It means something hot is about to happen." Padma looks dejected. She's shaping up to be the Ashley of this season.
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Jack runs into Emily, and with his voice cracking and tears welling, thanks her for being the godmother, and thanks her for being in the kid's life (aka, Amanda's going to be a shitty mother, and she needs all the help she can get). Yes, this storyline is deadly dull, but I can endure it as long as they keep giving us this.
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Emily comes home to find Adrian putting Nolan in a headlock (And Nolan, bless his heart, tried valiantly to put those "martial arts" skills he used in the season premiere to use). She breaks them up, and Nolan exclaims, 'Why does this keep happening to me?" She explains that Adrian is an ally, and when Nolan gives her the phone, she secretly inserts a different sim card, and pockets the real one.
Adrian offers to trade her the flight recorder data for everything the WHG was carrying when he died. Emily agrees, but when she grabs the box, she put the phone with the fake sim card in it, and nabs the WHG's pocket watch. We also get a flashback showing that she and Adrian were lovers when they were Takeda trainees, but he left suddenly without a word, and that's why she has so much distrust. After he leaves, she opens the watch, which reveals ... her mother.
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In the sweetest scene of the episode, a sad and dejected Nolan is packing up his robots and garish shirts, ready to leave Emily's house. But she comes in and makes a startling announcement about her mother and the WHG.
Amanda lies to Jack about where she's going ... because there's no way he could ever find out she's been to the Grayson's ... what with throngs of press there. But Jack has other matters to deal with. A man comes in ... Hey! It's JR Bourne, the Teen Wolf dad! ... with Declan's license. Apparently Declan dropped it at the man's house ... when he was robbing it.
Declan comes home, and initially denies everything, but Teen Wolf dad says not to worry, as long as he brings everything back, he won't press charges. Jack thanks him, and tells him that if there's anything he can do to repay him, just let him know. Teen Wolf dad looks around, smirks, and says, "you know what, barkeep, I'm going to hold you to that." I don't like the sound of that.
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The preparations for Victoria's press conference are underway, with a ... few snags. Someone anonymously forwards to Daniel proof that his mother faked her kidnapping. Meanwhile, Amanda gives Charlotte the journal, who finds out that "the truth" about what her mother did to Daniel Clarke (We don't know how much of "the truth" Emily put in the journal, though). Both children swarm on their mother, and Conrad demands the press conference be canceled.
Victoria decides to press on with the press conference, but is going to tweak it a bit. What follows is the best scene of the episode, filled with soapy goodness for the entire cast.
In the aftermath of the press conference, Jack tells Amanda he'll be a dad to the baby, but he's through with her lies. Conrad and Victoria decide to get married again to keep up appearances, Daniel decided to forgive his mother ... to her face, and Adrian comes by to see Emily, who has figured out that he is the one who sent Daniel the fake passport for Victoria, thus making the Graysons think that the WHG is still alive and after them.
She's still nursing a broken heart from Adrian deliberately abandoned her years ago, and can't trust or forgive him, and tells him to take a hike. The episode ends with her listening to a call her mother made to the WHG. A call that ends with "I hope you're okay, Gordon. Please be okay. I love you."
So what did you think? This episode had more twists and turns than usual, but it paid off with the press conference. What will Emily do with this new info about her mom and Gordon? And what does Teen Wolf dad have in store for Jack and Declan. Something gay for pay, I hope.
