My jaw's agape, but my journalistic duty is to inform you that Ryan Reynolds is 36 years old today. Damn, right? How can the star of National Lampoon's Van Wilder already be over 35 already? Turns out that movie was released 10 years ago. Yes, we're all ancient, is the real problem.
In honor of the former Alanis Morissette beau's big day, let's rack up his eight hottest moment on screen, on the street, and on the page. Hope you like pristinely cut abdominals.
8. Definitely Maybe proves that dads are the hottest.
Definitely Maybe is my choice for Ryan Reynolds' best movie, and even though it's by no means a sexy film, Reynolds fills the role of a corduroy-clad dad with warmth and meaning. You believe he's real, which is strange considering this 2008 flick is also a standard romantic comedy in key ways. Still: Awwwww.
7. The Green Lantern's chiseled visage is, indeed, superheroic.
The movie was a dud, but the man in the verdant vestments was as red-hot as ever. Ryan Reynolds was destined to play a superhero after we all became aware of what muscles he possessed, but he's still unexpectedly sexy as Hal Jordan. And perfectly, geometrically contoured.
6. Screw Wolverine, I'm too busy swimming in Deadpool's tawny brawniness.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine was mostly a showcase for Hugh Jackman's otherworldly musculature, but hey, get a good look at Deadpool here: pretty comely and well-tailored for a dude whose mortal name is Wade!
5. A crisp and creamy suit for (wait for it) a crispy and creamy guy
Just like Ryan Gosling and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, a big part of Ryan Reynolds' charm is his affinity for dapperness. In terms of red carpet styling, he's never looked better than here in his creamy cream, dreamy dream suit. Check out the fit on that coat! It's hugging his abs like Blake Lively should!
4. The Proposal gives us a glimpse at Ryan's blind side.
It's a simple enough comedy, but there's nothing cliche about The Proposal's comic nude scene. Before platonic partners Sandra Bullock and Reynolds accidentally run into each other naked, Reynolds rips off his clothes with the speed of our greatest pole artists. To be that hot and naked while still being able to nail punchlines is his most superheroic achievement in film to date.
3. Van Wilder is Ryan at his cutest and freshest
No one would argue that National Lampoon's Van Wilder is anything but a raunchy slice of collegiate immaturity, but I have fond memories of this movie for giving us a one-of-a-kind lead actor who possessed the pointed wryness of Will Arnett and the looks of a dastardly star like Errol Flynn. I could do without the scatological humor, but I can't do without his sweet shirtlessness in this movie.
2. Blade Trinity will convert you to Hannibalism
Ripped, ripped, ripped: Blade: Trinity should've just been called, "Here It Is, The Perfect Body," because what else are you supposed to retain from that movie? Insight? Please. Reynolds' finesse and burliness were the real stars here, and anyone who objects deserves scorn.
1. Ryan epitomizes Men's Health
There it is, the Men's Health standard: a man with a scorching 8-pack whose body looks best in deep gray light. Couldn't you just touch your monitor right now? With any and all of your available body parts? His chest and abs are freakishly gawp-worthy, and I think my own personal "men's health" benefits greatly from beholding it. Happy birthday, Ryan Reynolds, you gray, gray minx.
