You'll forgive me for not endorsing Katy Perry the same way I do Kylie Minogue, because some things have always bugged me about Ms. Perry's pop persona: I find the little-girl-dolled-up-in-sexy-candy-costuming shtick sleazy without wit, her transition from Christian pop ingenue to bicurious bopper more than a little insincere, and her comments about mixing sex and spirituality ("I am sensitive to... Lady Gaga putting a rosary in her mouth. I think when you put sex and spirituality in the same bottle and shake it up, bad things happen.") completely puritanical and lame. Say what you will about Ke$ha, but she's never been pretentious. I'm Team Tik Tok every time.
That said, on the occasion of Ms. Perry's 28th birthday, I'm game to rediscover the seven reasons it's OK to call yourself a fan. Raise up your firework and follow along.
1. "California Gurls" was the definitive summer anthem of 2010.
2010 was a great year for summer radio. La Roux gave us "Bulletproof," Ke$ha threw down "Your Love is My Drug," Kylie Minogue released the glistening Aphrodite album, and Lady Gaga thrilled us with one of her great underrated singles, "Alejandro." But the biggest hit that summer was Katy Perry's "California Gurls," a perfect sherbet blast of Golden Coast exaltation. Best of all, it spawned the YouTube classic "California Gays."
2. Her undisputed best video, "Waking Up in Vegas"
The girl has screen presence. She mastered her "glamor girl-gone-hot mess" shtick with this decadent Caesar's Palace fiasco. Give it up for those big reaction shots, from the googly eyes at the blackjack table to the money-throwing sass she dishes in the hotel room.
3. "I Kissed a Girl" is funny.
The only thing I don't love about "I Kissed A Girl," Katy's big debut in '08, is the bridge where she tarnishes the song's fabulous laissez-faire bisexuality with weird come-ons like "Us girls we are so magical / Soft skin, red lips, so kissable." It's a weird kind of objectification in a song that wants to promote same-sex naughtiness for everyone. Otherwise, the character of this #1 song is pretty damn funny; love the pleading tone of "I kissed a girl / just to try it!" I like to picture her wailing these words on the stand at the Nuremberg trials.
4. She got Nicole Kidman to sing along to "Teenage Dream"
I hope no one here is in denial about how much Nicole Kidman rules. Surely you enjoyed The Others, found yourself devastated by her work in Rabbit Hole, and wanted to genuflect in abject awe at To Die For. Right? Right. So let's be sure to thank Katy Perry for giving Nicole a chance to show off her fun-loving side at the 2011 Grammys when, during a performance of "Teenage Dream," the camera panned to Nicole, who was singing and dancing along to the hopeful, adolescent lyrics. Aw, look, she suddenly gets self-conscious! Silly but fun, just like Days of Thunder.
5. That Part of Me movie? Tolerable.
This movie was more entertaining than it had any right to be. Perry was admirably candid, proved herself a fine singer, and even properly sold her very catchy single "Part of Me." Maybe it didn't contain the legendary narcissism and charisma of Truth Or Dare, but it was a cute, candy-colored rush.
6. She may have saved Rebecca Black's life with the "Last Friday Night" video.
Rebecca Black's vilification in March 2011 was pretty insane. It seemed like no one was willing to stand up for the inoffensive, perfectly bland "Friday" songstress, and that's when Katy Perry swooped in and offered Black the role of a lifetime as her cute pal in the nutty video for "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)." I hope this saved young Rebecca's sanity. And I hope everyone appreciates that Katy's parents were played by Corey Feldman and Debbie Gibson. Good call, Perry.
7. She gave Glee its most heartwarming moment.
And most importantly: Glee has had its share of heroic moments, but I don't think the show can claim any bigger accomplishment than presenting mainstream America with the sight of a dreamy boy (Darren Criss) wooing another dreamy boy (Chris Colfer) using the power of a dreamy pop song, "Teenage Dream." Darren Criss' wide-eyed, nattily attired debut as part of the Warblers is the closest thing gay, Generation Y kids have to a Beatles-on-Ed Sullivan fervor. It was a majestic performance, and Katy's pulsing jam is an inextricable ingredient in its charm. Perfection.
Have any other reasons to love Katy? Well, don't bring them up. These are the correct seven.
