I hate it when the chaperones dance with the kids
The second outing of this season of All Stars was ... terrible. "Designers must create disco-wear for a glamorous night out inspired by Nine West's '70s Brights shoe collection." Disco-wear? Fabulous. I've been waiting for this challenge forever. But instead of conjuring images of moon and spoons, sweaty dress shields, hand jobs in the corner, and that one prom night when a madman tried to kill Jamie Lee Curtis on the dancefloor, this Disco disaster was more like, well, a Lifetime version of Disco.
There was one brief moment when I was taken back to my wee years back in the seventies. Casanova's design instantly transported me to that decade. Then I realized why. It had nothing to do with disco ... it was my sister and I playing Cat's Cradle for hours on end.
So how did each designer do? Let's take a look.
Althea - Bland but well made. But what about it says Disco?
Andrae - I have a feeling they're keeping him around for meltdown purposes. What the hell is this thing? Yes, taking the jacket off does improve it, but it doesn't say Disco, it says "My creator distracts easily."
Anthony Ryan - I like this one. If only it had anything to do with a Disco theme.
Casanova - This one came the closest to the the Disco theme. But that webbing in the back may cause a problem.
Emilio - This would get ripped to shreds in ten seconds on the dance floor.
Ivy - The judges gave it second place, but I have a problem with its shapelessness.
Joshua - This does look 70's, but it looks like she's on her way to work, not the Disco.
Kayne - I love those pants, but the top is bland. Still, it looks more Disco than the winner.
Laura - Disco Golden Girls
Suede - AAAH! This should have lost. It's still painful to look at..
Uli - The winner. This was another shapeless blob. And if you spill the cocaine on it, how are you supposed to find it?
Wendy - The loser. This was bad, but Andrae and Suede were far worse..
I have a feeling that it came down to Andrae and Wendy, and because she hasn't been the Queen of Mean like they were hoping, they decided to keep the possibly-soundbite-worthy Andrae. What did you think of this week's challenge? The high point for me was seeing the mummified corpse of Karl Lagerfeld. Obviously confused and possibly poked with a cattle prod, he wishes the all stars good luck.
