Previously on The Amazing Race, teams traveled to Moscow, Russia, where we were once again treated to male pulchritude when several teams joined the Russian national synchronized swimming team for a routine. Trey& Lexi took 1st place for the second Leg in a row and won a trip to Maui that Lexi would love to turn into a honeymoon trip. The Chippendales nuded up in the swimming pool and finished 2nd. The lying thieving twins got away with pinching Team Headbang's money and landed at the Pit Stop in 3rd. Speaking of, James& Abba continued their unlucky streak when a cabbie absconded with James's passport and other possessions preventing them from checking in at the Amazing Mat. Brent& Josh and Ryan& Abbie took a foolish chance on a connecting flight, stranding themselves overnight. Their idiotic pact to run the Leg together left Ryan & Abbie cooling their heels at the pool while Josh and non-swimmer Brent struggled with the routine.
For Leg 8, the Roadblock clue was “Who's In The Zone?” Racers were shown a time zone map for Russia and had to correctly identify the local time in several cities based on a Moscow time. The Detour offered the choice of “Movers” or “Shakers”. In “Movers” teams chose from among several super-hot Russian soldiers to teach them a traditional “soldier dance”. In “Shakers” teams needed to identify people impersonating seven historic Russian leaders at a cocktail party. Once they identified all of the impersonators, “Alexander Pushkin” would give them their next clue.
Trey & Lexi and Jaymes & James
The Chippendales and Team Longhorn work together once the cab driver who tries repeatedly to kidnap the Texans is dealt with. I call the extra fare money they burned as partial karma for profiting off the purloined money. Jaymes and Lexi take the Roadblock and after several attempts Lexi of all people figures out that they're not taking Moscow's local time zone into consideration for their calculations. Both teams pick “Movers”. Jaymes & James finish first despite James nursing a sprained ankle and neither being used to dancing while fully-clothed. Team Longhorn finishes soon after and both teams benefit from another in The Amazing Race's long history of very lenient dance judges.
"Достаточно близко."
They make it to the Pit Stop very close together, but the Chippendales hit the Amazing Mat first, taking down their first 1st place finish along with a trip to Costa Rica. Trey & Lexi come in soon thereafter in 2nd place.
Natalie & Nadiya
The despicable twins were down to the last Leg to use the Express Pass so they use it to skip the Roadblock, sparing me from having to try to figure out which one took it. They go with “Movers” and lose some time when one of them splits her uniform pants. Not the first time they've shown their ass on this Race. I'd call it partial karma for their thievery but it barely slows them down. They make it to the Pit Stop without further incident and remain in 3rd place. So, good for them.
Ryan & Abbie
Still racing with Brent & Josh, Team No-nickname arrives with them at the love trees. Abbie can't figure out how it works so after he finishes Josh comes over and unlocks several of her locks. How is this not a penalty for that team for failing to complete the Roadblock? She didn't unlock the clue; Josh did. They check in with the Beekmans as team number four.
Ryan takes the time zone Roadblock because, as he tells us again and again in the cab to the venue, he is so very very very very smart. Twenty-four failed tests later he twigs to the Moscow time zone thing and begins muttering how he is so very very very very stupid. It's rare you see that sort of personal growth and increased self-awareness in such a short period. He passes Test #25 and he and Abbie are off to dance. Abbie is a dance instructor and it looks like they both actually do all the moves, in the right order and everything. They collect their Pit Stop clue and check in for a 4th place finish.
Brent & Josh
The Beekman Boys are feeling less than fabulous as they are unable to complete the swimming routine before the venue closes. They receive their clue and a four-hour penalty. In previous seasons that was a 24-hour penalty so the Amazing Rule-makers have gotten soft.
Josh takes the love tree Roadblock for both teams and again, where is Team Longhorn's penalty? They check in as team number five and are advised by Phil that their Detour penalty will be applied at the start of the next Leg.
Brent takes the time zone Roadblock and knocks it out in one try. They're the only team shown taking “Shaker” because the gays know how to work a cocktail party. They correctly identify seven Vladimir Lenins, six Tsar Nicholas IIs, five Peter the Greats, five Leonid Breshnevs, four Catherine the Greats, three Leon Trotskys, two Josef Stalins and a partridge in a pear tree and are off to the Pit Stop.
"My lack of God! It's Trotsky!"
Team Beekman checks in 5th and are still in the Race.
James & Abba
Phil advises Team Headbang that they must have their travel documents to move on and they head to a hotel to contact the police. They have no success and in a voiceover say they are unable immediately to obtain replacement passports from the U.S. Embassy (which would have been my first stop, not some hotel). They return to the Amazing Mat, where Phil informs them that this is a Non-Elimination Leg and I scare the Hell out of my cats by screaming “SON OF A BITCH!” They are still in the Race until such time as they need their documents to move forward.
They depart in last place and stay there.
After another frustrating round with the Moscow police bureaucracy they begin the Leg. For the Speed Bump they are shown for a few moments in a limo with a member of the clergy. We don't see them perform the Roadblock or the Detour which is a little disappointing; I wanted to see them in their uniforms. Night is beginning to fall as they arrive at the Pit Stop. They confirm that they are still missing one passport and are Philiminated.
The Amazing Metrics
Hopelessly Lost but Making Good Time: James & Abba. Despite everything they couldn't overcome the loss of James's passport.
Don't Make Me Come Back There: No one, really.
Cruising: Jaymes & James. After being at the back of the pack for much of the Race they've put together a couple of back-to-back Legs to establish themselves as one of the strongest remaining teams. And they've done it pretty much with unfailing good humor.
This Leg was drenched in melancholy, with two teams spending a good chunk of the episode believing they were Racing to Philimination and a third wandering the streets of Moscow in a quixotic effort to locate a passport. I would love to know if Leg 7 was originally non-elimination or if the Amazing Producers changed it and threw this Leg together to give Team Headbang a shot at staying in. Either way I thought the Leg was well put together, especially if it entailed finding nearly three dozen impersonators on short notice. However, not penalizing Ryan & Abbie for failing to complete the love tree Roadblock only allows me to award the episode Four Phlying Phils!
Bonus Shots
