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It's time again for the exciting adventures of Ab Man and Biceps; Starling City's ripped and fearsome crime-fighting duo.
As we pick up, Oliver is harangued into having lunch with his mom. He acts very put-upon. I guess he figured after the three bites of hamburger she had with him in the last episode, she wouldn't need more solid food for a few weeks.
Lunch plans go awry as someone guns down the dude Mommy Dearest was chatting with. She isn't hit, but she's knocked down. Oliver makes sure she's not shot and then bails, off to find the leather-clad biker who nearly killed his mom.
Of course, he fails to nab the suspect. If he succeeded, this would be a very short episode.
Thea is back to her, "yes, you were marooned for five years, but you've had a month to get over that so stop being a wanker" behavior. I can't say that I missed this part of her personality.
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Oliver channels his anger over the attack that wasn't really about his mom anyway into another crusade. He likes to crusade. It fills the empty hours when he's not flirting with Digg or practicing eyeliner application.
It seems the dead man was part of the mob run by a guy named Bertinelli. In order to find out who was gunning down the local mobsters, Oliver needs to infiltrate their ranks. Digg thinks this is a very bad plan, but Oliver ignores him. Hey, Oliver? Why did you bring Digg in on the whole vigilante gig if you have no intention of ever listening to him?
Oliver's brilliant scheme involves going into business with the mobster. First, I think this might not be really good for Queen Industries and second, is going into business with him really going to get him to open up to you about all of his deep dark secrets?
Fortunately, Oliver's utter lack of planning is salvaged by the knock of opportunity. The murderer he is looking for happens to be Bertinelli 's own daughter. Yikes. And we thought Thea was screwed up.
They glare daggers at each other, which I don't really get. We know she thinks he's a "rich man's Lindsay Lohan" but still, I mean, look at him. Sure, he's a dim-witted party boy with commitment issues, but what does that matter when he's that smoking hot?
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For Oliver's part, I really don't understand why he's all standoffish. He's still pretending to be that womanizing playboy, so why wouldn't he be all flirty? I mean, she's got it going on too. I'd take her over Lauren every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
Speaking of Lauren, she ends up going out with Tommy and he's charming. But then his credit card bounces and now we're wondering where his billions went. Did they all get moved to the Caymans so Obama wouldn't tax them?
Oliver's forced date is going better. Her name is Helena, and thanks to the wonders of Wiki, I am now armed with the knowledge that Helena Bertinelli is actually the Huntress. My DC comics lore is sketchy, but I believe the character is one of the toughest bad-ass women in their universe.
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She and Oliver bond over things like loss and isolation. It's romantic, sort of like when lighter fluid snuggles up with a lit match. Very quickly, the jagged edges of their brokenness mesh. And it's nice to see Oliver finally being himself and talking to someone, but this is not going to end well.
The anonymous (for a bit longer) John Barrowman character shows up to chat with Moira in her sick bed. He lets her know that he understands that after a near-death experience a person can change their priorities. It's clear that if they have changed, she's going to come down with a slight case of death. But he seems satisfied that she's still on board the Evil Express, which services all downtown Hell locations.
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Bertinelli's goons are shaking down local businesses and their next stop is the restaurant that Oliver and Helena just left. Green Arrow arrives on the scene to save the day, and so does the Huntress. After dealing with the goon squad, our lovebirds tussle with each other. And Oliver finds out that the girl he was digging is also the killer he's looking for.
Isn't it nice when two people who like each other find out they have common interests?
Tommy goes to visit his daddy about his sudden bankruptcy. And I wouldn't even mention this scene were it not for the fact that John Barrowman is his dad!
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Dude, I did not see that coming. It's a credit to John's agelessness as well as perhaps the miscasting of Tommy that my first thought was, "No, he can't be Tommy's dad. He's like an older brother, maybe."
Mr. Merlyn has cut him off. He thinks Tommy is lazy and shiftless and an embarrassment. No, this show isn't driven by parental issues. Why would you say that?
Oliver finds himself kidnapped along with Helena by the mob. We get some of the usual dialogue you would expect, like "You killed my fiancé" and "Yes, and now you I will get you and your little Queen too."
Whatevs. The important part is that both Oliver and Helena escape their bonds and kill the living daylights out of the goon squad. And the absolute best part is Helena snapping the neck of her fiancé's killer and telling Oliver, "I had to. No one can know my secret."
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Oliver was utterly pole-axed as he got a good, long look in the mirror.
Digg is not really on board with having another crazy vigilante running around. He can only keep tabs on one at a time, after all. Also, I think he's jealous of the attention Oliver is paying Helena.
Naturally, Oliver ignores him and goes to see her. She's figured out who he is. And when he suggests that murdering people, while loads of fun, is not a great life-path, she counters with, "And what you do is okay because why?"
Oliver has no answer for that, so he kisses her instead. And while I like to kid about the slashability of Digger, I have to say these two set the screen on fire. There is a smoldering, confidant depth to Helena that is a credit to the actress, Jessica de Gouw. And Oliver's vulnerability shows through all the cracks in his armor.
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Now, of course, this relationship is so doomed I have no way to measure it. Co-dependent and self-destructive, this fire will consume them. But man will it be fun to watch!
What did you guys think?
