First and foremost: SPOILERS. SPOILERS. BIG HONKY WARNINGS. The biggest concerns would have to be character deaths in the book series The Hunger Games and Game of Thrones. (Deaths that have yet to happen in the respective film/tv series). If you need spoiler warnings for Lost, Harry Potter, or Supernatural, I’m sorry to say that you’re living in early 2004 and you need to catch up with the rest of us.
Now raise your hand if you have ever met a character that you just loved so much—so much that you squealed when they were happy and cried when they were sad. Ok, put your hand down. I can’t even see you.
The saddest thing about a character that you love dying—aside from the actual death part, of course—is when that character was also smoking hot. There could have been so many more opportunities for them to gallivant around with no shirt on, which is much more important than trivial things like character development or plot. So much so, in fact, that their death just puts a damper on the whole thing, and it’s never really the same without them again.
But the really special thing about these characters is that they’re attractive beyond their looks—yeah, you definitely want to end up in bed with them at the end of the day—but their actions are attractive, too. And it really, really sucks that they’re dead.
5. Cedric Diggory (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)
Yes. You caught me. It’s a picture of Edward Cullen from Twilight. But if Robert Pattinson can look that good when he’s dead, just imagine how excellent he would have looked when he was still among the warm-blooded living. Not only was his Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire character nice to look at, but he was smart, brave, and loyal—the best of all the Seventh Year students at Hogwarts, apparently, because the Triwizard Cup said so. He made it all the way to the center of the hedge maze, and decided to share the winnings with Harry instead of trying to fight him to win on his own. Honorable.
He might be a Hufflepuff, but he has the body of a Gryffindor and he’d probably make you want to act like a Slytherin.
If Mr. Weasley’s advice (“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain”) was ever to be flouted, it’s listening to that damn cup.
4. Finnick Odair (The Hunger Games series)
The very first time we meet Finnick in Catching Fire, he’s wearing a net. He isn’t caught in a net. He is wearing ropes that happen to be tied together and are (unfortunately?) hiding his junk from Katniss, otherwise we’d be treated to what she thinks of them (and she would probably compare them in some way to Gale’s, because that’s what Katniss does).
Finnick’s story is tragic, and his death is terribly sad because not only is he stupidly gorgeous, but he’s also one of the kindest men still left in Panem. Everything he did—using his looks to procure information, forced prostitution, joining the war effort against the Capitol—was to help keep the rebelling districts safe—not to mention protecting his wife, Annie Cresta, and the son she was pregnant with. He’s even sweeter than those sugar cubes he’s constantly popping.
3. Robb Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire series/Game of Thrones)
I’m just going to put it out there: Robb Stark is about as dumb as the pile of bricks that Winterfell was built out of. He was a pretty good war strategist, according to even Tywin Lannister’s men, and as of the season 2 finale, he had an advantage over them—except for how they still had his sisters Arya and Sansa captive. He did care about freeing them…as long as they still had Jaime Lannister as a bargaining chip. That’s kind of clever in theory, I guess.
But, hey, did you see that sex scene between Robb and Talisa? I mean, goddamn, I’d have told him my whole backstory for a chance to end up on top of that, too.
“Winter is coming?”
Yep. And that's not all.
2. Jack Shepherd (Lost)
Ok, so maybe he’s not really dead. Or, wait…he was dead, right? They were all dead. But they weren’t? How did this show even end? Bueller?
Jack, the hot surgeon, the reluctant leader, the guy who saved everyone’s asses (and what fine asses they were—have you seen the cast of this show?). For a desert island, they didn’t run around naked half as much as anyone would have liked (if we had to see Richard Hatch’s ass on Survivor every week, we should have been entitled to shirtless Matthew Fox a lot more often than we were), but Jack was more than his body. He was a man of science changed to a man of faith, who sacrificed himself to make sure that his friends (and Sawyer) got off the island. Feel free to insert your own obligatory “Let’s play doctor, Doctor” joke here.
Because it’s 100% true and we’re all thinking it.
1. John Winchester (Supernatural)
John Winchester was (and still is, as a result of his death in season 2) an absent dad. Does that really take away from his hotness? Well, a little, yes. But that beard is enough to make me say no, no it doesn’t.
John took up the extremely dangerous demon hunter lifestyle, risking damaging his sons emotionally and physically for the rest of their lives, all to avenge the death of his murdered wife, Mary. A man with no hunting background going up against a powerful demon? It’s romantic! If you like…that sort of bloody, slaughter-y thing.
He might be old enough to be the dad of the majority of the show’s audience, but that’s no reason to count him out. Jeffrey Dean Morgan turned 46 this year, and much like a fine wine, he keeps getting finer with age.
…Sorry. That was cheesy.
(It goes well with the wine.)
Honorable Mention:
Dean and Sam Winchester (Supernatural)
How could such a hot dad not spawn some equally gorgeous offspring?
They’ve both died and been to hell (and purgatory), so they were dead at one point, so they…count as dead characters because—look, it’s really convoluted, and I just wanted an excuse to post shirtless pictures of Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.
You’re welcome.
