Season four of The Good Wife has given us the characters we love and a roster of eye-popping guest-stars, but it seems like they're all peeking out from behind dubious storylines and only occasionally interesting cases. Since there was no new episode this week, I suggest we write letters of contempt to Phil Keoghan for his two-hour roadblock and then think about what more we want from Alicia's fourth season. We know Nick Sevarese's nonsense is over, but what else is on our Good Wife wish list? Here are seven things I want.
1. I want Kalinda to be enigmatic again.
Kalinda Sharma is The Good Wife's resident superhero. She's an unending medley of perfect retorts, knowing glances, and investigative gusto. This season we've suffered as Kalinda trudged through a storyline with horrible husband Nick Sevarese that, I think, was designed to make her look both vulnerable and dangerously sexy. I mean, I think? Is that what the crushed-egg-on-the-boob scene was about? Is that what the odious fingerbang scene was about? Who can tell? All I can say is I hope we're about to get the old Kalinda back, the multidimensional, intriguing primetime anomaly whose sexuality isn't defined by her husband's "naughty" stunts.
2. I want fewer cases that can "save the whole firm."
How anticlimactic is it when Diane announces the case of the week might be able to pull Lockhart Gardner out of financial ruin? Don't draft us into a season-long storyline about the firm's demise and then tease us with Deus Ex Machina potential. The firm's issues aren't all that interesting to begin with, and when I hear about mysterious cases that have the power to titillate Nathan Lane and finally put a smile on his uber-bunched visage, I'm both underwhelmed and annoyed. By the way: Nathan Lane better do some interesting stuff real soon. His Scrooge-y episodes are getting a little bah-humbug-y.
3. I want Eli's work to be more interesting.
Trust me, I love when my man Alan Cumming arranges his mouth in a hot smirk position and small electrical fires form in his neck veins, but he's has only been able to play one emotion all season: abject frustration. From his conversations with nefarious bloggers who threaten to torpedo Peter's career to his testy lunch with the snooping Hamish Linklater, Eli's frustration is getting monotonous. It's at a fever pitch, but it's a monotonous fever pitch. Kind of like the movie Fever Pitch.
4. I really don't want Peter's mom to be banging her help.
Is it too late? Do we think they're schtupping? Ugh.
5. I want more Cary.
Beautiful, sweet, Nick-battered Cary. He's had a couple of fab moments this season -- namely that revealing hotel room conversation with Alicia during the episode where his douche dad tried to wheedle him into arranging a job opening -- but I still don't see enough of him. But God, I'm still swooning after analyzing his nonplussed facial reactions to Nick's threatening homophobia. You resist that creep and wear your dandy pink ties, baby boy! And that adorable half-smile! Never lose it!
6. I want even more '80s Oscar winners/nominees in killer guest roles.
We've really been spoiled in the guest actor department this season, haven't we? From F. Murray Abraham and Stockard Channing to Jane Alexander and Becky Ann Baker, The Good Wife has hurled a full constellation of awesome stars in meaty guest roles. They've been so awesome that it's easy to forgive things like, say, Christina Ricci's racy "comedian" role or Judd Hirsch's inconceivable drunk judge character. What the hell was that? He needed an intervention with the Judd Hirsch from Ordinary People, am I right? Since I'm most sympathetic to the show's love of old Oscar nominees, here's who I'd like to see next: Olympia Dukakis as the most maternal, wisecracking judge of all time; Klaus Maria Brandauer as a shady ivory salesman back from a mysterious trip to Africa; Brenda Fricker as the same pigeon lady she played in Home Alone 2. Thank you.
7. I want more moments of triumph from Diane.
Remember this? Arguably the sweetest moment of the season. Diane is a fearsome part of this show, and she might even be the heart of the show. Her moments of triumph replenish my electrolytes, and as much as I enjoy watching Alicia veer from paralyzing stress to sweet, wine-aided relief each week, I want to see the same kind of arcs for Diane. Surely a huge part of the The Good Wife viewer demographic is gay men, and if we can't see more no-nonsense moments of ass-slaying from Diane, I believe we have reason to join forces in protest. So there.
What do you want from the rest of this season? Do you think you're going to get it?
