Does 2013 look like a promising one for LGBT entertainment sensations? My answer: Who knows, honestly? That's why we need to prepare a wish list, and fast. How can we know we're disappointed if we don't know what we want?
Here are 10 wishes for entertainment in 2013. Please add your own at the bottom, whether or not they pertain specifically to gay entertainers. Let's make this year count, starting with a triumph at the Grammys.
1. Frank Ocean runs off with Album of the Year.
There've been some meaningless Grammy moments, particularly for Album of the Year. Steely Dan's 2001 triumph comes to mind, as does Herbie Hancock's peculiar tribute to Joni Mitchell that earned top honors for 2008. But an Album of the Year win for Frank Ocean's Channel ORANGE would give the Grammys back a modicum of much-needed credibility: He's mainstream, but not an utter juggernaut. His music is fresh and meaningful. He's a critic's dream. He'd be the first openly gay artist ever to win Album of the Year (and I say that with no offense meant to rightful 1988 winner George Michael). Just do the right thing, ancient Grammy voters. You were on the right track with Arcade Fire in 2011.
2. For almost no reason, Sally Field wins a third Oscar.
I hate Oscar years when Best Supporting Actress is a foregone conclusion. By far, BSA is the best and most interesting category each year, and in 2013 it looks like we're stuck with a win for the acceptable, but incredibly cloying performance Anne Hathaway gave in Les Miserables. But here's something you probably haven't thought about: Sally Field is one of the few double Oscar winners who has no other nominations. (Hilary Swank and my girl Vivien Leigh are two other examples.) If Field won for Lincoln -- and she's certain to get a nomination -- she'd be the only three-time winner who has never lost on Oscar night. I'm perfectly fine with giving Norma Rae that honor, even if her performance as Mary Todd Lincoln is about as consequential as Helena Bonham Carter's work in The King's Speech. But even if the award isn't totally deserved, we can't forget that Sally was denied a nomination for her legendary shrieks in Soapdish. Vindication is necessary.
3. Adele does not win an Oscar for "Skyfall."
No to Adele winning an Oscar. No. No! First of all, "Skyfall" is the most uneventful James Bond anthem since "Tomorrow Never Dies," and the lyrics are opaque, generic, and laz(enb)y. Second, Adele has not done the groundwork to win an effing Oscar. This is not her "Let the River Run," and she is not Carly Simon. This is not "Into the West," and she is not Annie Lennox. She needs to wait at least three more years before she can blow our minds with a sexier, feistier Bond anthem. Then I will sign off on her Oscar credentials.
4. More gay sports memoirs about meth addiction!
Matthew Mitcham's bracing memoir Twists and Turns wasn't just a personal, revelatory memoir of addiction from one of the premier gay athletes; it's also full of insights about fame and public perception. "People kept remarking on how they were surprised that a gold medal and fame hadn't changed me. I always responded, 'Why would I change? Being me is the easiest person to be.'" the book says. "I was lying. It wasn't." There's something so interesting and -- if you'll pardon my callousness -- satisfying about knowing that a professional athlete can be as doggedly honest and introspective as any other writer, especially since cold steeliness is a big part of an athlete's work. We need more of these works. Billie Jean King, if you want to come clean about some insane meth that Bobby Riggs tried to woo you with, I'm more than happy to fire up my Kindle.
5. The Great Gatsby is hilarious.
I'm already done with Leo DiCaprio as the aloof Jay Gatsby. He's played this type before, and now one of the great literary characters of the 20th century is reduced to a smilier J. Edgar. Since I'm banking on the new adaptation (set for release in May) being a dud, I can only hope the movie is a big, unintentionally hilarious romp. Will Carey Mulligan's car accident feature cartoonish sound effects? Will Tobey Maguire be a nervous goon as Nick Carraway? I hope so. Knowing director Baz Luhrmann, the characters will sing a revamped version of "Roxanne" where everyone piles in a boat and cries, "You don't have to put out the green light."
6. HBO turns that "gay Girls" pilot into a series.
I'm still wondering what happened with HBO's promise to turn The Kids Are All Right into an hour-long show, but I've chosen to remain excited about their newest gay-centric project: a series about "a thirtysomething trio in San Francisco grappling with the complexities of life and the modern gay experience." Hell yes! With Brothers and Sisters showrunner David Marshall Grant on board, this could be fabulous. Personally, I hope all three men are flirty playboys and the show is called Shorttime Companion.
7. Azealia Banks takes over.
Rapper, songwriter, and "liquorice b*tch"Azealia Banks may be slightly pretentious, as she's invoked everything from Paris Is Burning to Crystal Waters to prove her pop culture mettle, but guess what? Pretension isn't unbearable when such a smart, fresh, LGBT-loving ingenue is spouting it. She floored me with her breakout single "212," her new EP Fantasea is fantastique, and the video for "1991" is a saucy gem. I'm raring for her first feature-length album to feature more naughty references to gayness than The Importance of Being Earnest. My one complaint: You'd think Ms. Banks would've realized that "212" rhymes with "To Wong Foo." Where's that spicy lyric?
8. Meryl fast-tracks that August: Osage County film adaptation.
Uh, hey, everyone: Do we get that August: Osage County movie starring Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor, Juliette Lewis, and Margo Martindale this year? Production wrapped in November, so I'm assuming yes. Please, God, let this adaptation of Tracy Letts' epic play be more bearable than dud stage-to-screen works like Carnage. I'm really preparing myself to enjoy Julia Roberts, and you know I haven't done that since The Pelican Brief.
9. The demise of Partners only inspires more LGBT characters in multicam sitcoms
Partners had its perks: Michael Urie sold the hell out of subpar material, and the relationship between Urie and David Krumholtz's characters felt sincere and sweet. If the failed CBS sitcom proved anything, it's that there's plenty more material to mine in the world of gay TV characters. Since TV writers are often slaves to risk-averse executives, let's pray that the opportunity for gay leading roles in quaint multicamera shows isn't being taken away. We deserve great representation even in the hokiest of formats.
10. Ezra Miller plays gay again.
Did you love Ezra Miller in The Perks of Being a Wallflower? I sure did. An unusual and interesting character, and one perfectly realized by the queer actor. Though the gorgeous Miller has signed on for the new adaptation of Madame Bovary, I'm pining for him to find even more gay characters to embody. Hell, I'll write it. Call me, Ez!
What are your wishes? Throw 'em my way.
