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The Good Wife practically dared you to keep up with its weird plots and circumstances this week, and for those who were game, it was a fruitful trip into the cuckoo. Alicia had to spring our kooky lawyer pal Elsbeth Tascioni (Carrie Preston) out of the pokey after she'd been arrested on overblown charges. Diane and Will took over for Elsbeth on a case concerning a young Olympic runner who tests positive for doping thanks to her aborted pregnancy, which she conducted in secret using mifepristone that produced a misleading test result. Because the runner doesn't want her abortion revealed, Will and Diane essentially have to lie in order to win the case. Ah, morals! Always sucks to abandon them for the sake of a weepy athlete. And of course, Eli put out more dumb fires for Peter while Peter learned a bit about how he treats his staff. Educational!
Alicia and Peter also had emergency trailer sex while "Non, je ne regrette rien" played in the background. From now on, I shall refer to Peter's genitals as "the little sparrow." Done.
Here are the five most notable things about this strange, but entertaining episode.
1. Diane spoke French and angels masturbated.
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Diane kept speaking French this episode because she was defending the beleaguered runner to a panel of French officials. They were about as stuffy and bastardly as you can imagine. I even got a leering Nigel Lythgoe vibe from the main barrister. Christine Baranski is actually much more soothing than one would guess instinctively; perhaps you picture her getting cheeky and stuffing all those accent aigus through her signature smirk, but she sounded about as comely and commanding as Genevieve Bujold. Mmmmm. Coma.
2. You can't say "Elsbeth" without sounding insane.
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Gotta give it up for Elsbeth. I feel like I've spent the past three weeks moaning about how Silver Linings Playbook exploits the mentally ill, and maybe you could say the same about the surface-level "craziness" of Elsbeth, but she's never inhumanly theatrical. She has the sort of jumpy perkiness of Ellie Kemper in Bridesmaids. Just bizarre enough. I particularly loved her cheesy, climactic sprint down the track to jump in on Will and Diane's case. You could almost hear the Rocky theme playing. A bizarre, loopy reggateon mix of the Rocky theme because Elsbeth is nutty, but nonetheless a Stallone-worthy victory.
I also dug it when Alicia coached Elsbeth on how to pass a sanity test. The dialogue went something like this.
ALICIA:"Elsbeth, they're going to ask you some difficult questions."
ELSBETH:"Are they? Who? Where? But why?! Yahtzee!"
ALICIA:"Just remember to answer the questions briefly, then let the silence stand."
ELSBETH:"Wh-wh-wh-wh-how? Where? How?! Cartwheels! A dog!"
ALICIA:"You can do it!"
ELSBETH: [Dead silence.]
ALICIA:"DID YOU DIE?"
ELSBETH: [Winks]
ALICIA:"Oh, Elsbeth!"
ELSBETH:"YEE-hah!" [Armpit farts.]
3. Eli. Enough.
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We're going on a full month of Eli-based tedium now. My pointy main man can't catch a break with this Peter business. It's always yet another episode-long travail that results in an indignant burst of Eli rage, and it's making me feel like Eli isn't competent enough for the job. I want him to feel like an extraordinary force in the show, not just a bumbling Dave Seville who can't stop yelling "ALVIN!" at people. In other '80s cartoon news: Alan Cumming sometimes looks like Inspector Gadget. Don Adams, you are missed.
4. T.R. Knight. Enough.
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OK, Eli's little Eve Harrington troll Jordan is pissing me off. I get that he's a stoic little upstart, but I'm just uncomfortable disliking T.R. Knight this much. He starts the episode by mocking a bunch of print reporters on a conference call, then he steadfastly tells Peter to ignore the issue of race, even though Maddie (Maura Tierney) plans to nail him on his unsettling hiring/firing trends in the State's Attorney's office. I need Jordan to evolve a bit, because right now he just seems lie an aggressive cipher figure. A snarly, less violent sequel to the one-note disaster that was Nick. And T.R. Knight isn't exactly convincing in the role, looking as purposefully dead-eyed as a poetry-reciting teenager. Cute as a button, but not convincing.
5. A valid and interesting discussion about Peter's racial bias! Hooray!
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Loved this. Peter prodded Geneva into a frank discussion about his racial bias, and she responded in kind, announcing, "You have racial bias." She basically stated that Peter promoted Cary without great reason (besides the fact that we get to see more of delicious, perfect-mouthed, sweet junebug Cary) while ignoring two staffers with plenty more experience than Cary. Hmmm. I like how unexpectedly and abruptly this issue came to light, even if it's the logical culmination of many weeks of events. I also can't decide what this means for Peter, who botched an attempt to publicly address the matter this week, as he goes forward and navigates the chasm between Eli and Jordan. Could it mean an appearance from '80s Oscar winner Louis Gossett Jr.? All I want is for The Good Wife to propel '80s Oscar winners into primetime. I already miss F. Murray Abraham.
What'd you think of this week? Solid, and slightly weird? Good. Or disagree with me, whatever.
