You see, the problem with Arrow is that it set the bar for itself really high at the beginning. So now, when they flounder, it kind of irritates me. It's still as good or better than anything else on TV, but an episode like this last one grates on my nerves because it's so disappointing.
This week, it's a gang of armored-car heists. Normally, I am in such a blissed-out high from ogling Stephen Amell's abs and from the excitement of watching the layers of the plot unfold. Instead, I'm grouchy and all I can think as the heist is happening is, "wow, what idiot designs an armored car and forgets to make the windows bullet-proof?"
I ponder that as we shift focus to the Queen Mansion and Thea dropping gigantic hints that she is hoping for a car for her upcoming eighteenth birthday. Well, I suppose it's more accurate to say she's expecting a car like the entitlement princess she is.
Moira makes it clear there's no chance of that, which I don't understand at all. I mean, not giving her a car at sixteen violates just about every rule of the rich person stereotype. But eighteen? That seems kind of ridiculous. What are they worried about? She'll wreck it and they'll have to buy her another one?
Moving on. In the Arrow Cave, officially so-named by Digg, Oliver is studying the armored-car heists. He tells Digg that from the video footage, it's clear the heist used military-style precision and tactics.
Blocking escape with a van and firing a grenade through the strangely-not-bullet-proof glass requires military training? I'm pretty sure I could have come up with a better plan after watching any cop show ever.
The only person who could have done this (???) would be one Ted Gaynor, some middle-management guy in a security company. Oh, and he also happens to be Digg's former CO. Awkward...
Digg rattles off a piece of info I don't even understand. That they discovered the List of Doom was authored by whoever hired the Evil Archer of Oliver Butt Kicking. How they came to this conclusion escapes me. Maybe one of my helpful readers can clue me in.
Anyway, Oliver says that since the trusty List of Doom says Gaynor is a bad guy, he has to go down. Digg insists that the List is wrong, which sets off a firestorm of studly glares. I hate it when my boys fight.
Next up, we return to Magical Ninja Island. They're moving this plot along at such a glacial pace that I don't really have much to say about it. Oliver has killed his first guy. And he tries to be a hero. And he fails. And more stuff is happening but I don't even understand what the eff is going on, so we'll wait until it gets clearer to discuss.
Back in the modern day, Tommy gets a call from dear old dad. He apologizes for being such a wanker and says he wants to make it up to Tommy. And while he says, "I still want to be in your life" what I think he means is, "I have some vile scheme I need to use you for."
Tommy is as suspicious as I am, but he says he'll ask Laurel and see about having dinner. I think an emphatic, "Go to hell" would have been the better answer.
Oliver goes to have a chat with Mr. Gaynor but he gets interrupted in his interrogation by Digg. I can forgive Digg for this little rebellion. After all, Oliver is a little autocratic when it comes to the activities of Vigilante Inc.
But what I can't forgive is Digg continuing to trust Gaynor when he flat out asks him why the Hood would come after him and Gaynor evades the question. Digg, you are way smarter than that.
Needless to say, Oliver is a little pissed. Digg refuses to budge, insisting Gaynor is innocent. Oliver tells him that no one on the list is innocent. And the argument devolves into basically, "Oh yeah?" and "Nuh uh!"
At no point in this episode does anyone bring up the Huntress. It seems that Digg might have pointed out that Oliver was wrong about her so he could be wrong about Gaynor. Or Oliver might have brought up that Digg was acting just like he did back when he refused to accept Helena was crazy.
But alas, no.
Things in Thea-land continue to spin out of control. She spies on her mom, but instead of finding out anything useful like, say, her mom's complicity in Walter's disappearance, instead she only sees enough to think Moira and Papa Merlyn are having an affair. Sigh...
Speaking of whom, dinner with dad is every bit as tense and awkward as one might suspect. Tommy clearly just wants to find out the real reason for the evening while Laurel tries to make the best of things. We learn that Tommy's mother was murdered, and that raises a host of interesting possibilities. But we'll have to wait to find out more.
Yes, it turns out Papa Merlyn does have an ulterior motive. He needs Tommy to sign off on closing his mother's free clinic. Naturally, Tommy tells him to locate the nearest bridge suitable for bungee-free bungee-jumping and leaves.
We do get an appearance by our favorite computer nerd, Felicity Smoak. And of course that's always a huge bonus. I think she and Oliver have this cute little, "I know what you know but you think I don't know" relationship happening. It would certainly make her character fit better into the plot. Sadly, I am to be disappointed.
And, oh, right, the main "plot," if we must call it that. Digg thinks he has proven his buddy is not in on the heists. Oliver seems to accept that, but I think he's lying. Oliver lies so easily I think he's hardly even aware when he's doing it.
Digg is taken captive by the gang which is, of course, led by Gaynor. I was really hoping to see Digg bust some of those awesome moves Oliver has been teaching him, but again, I am to be disappointed. They have Carly, Digg's sister-in-law and future fruit fly arm candy. So he cooperates.
Or does he? At the heist he is forced to participate in, he lets the armored car go and instead fires the grenade at the bad guys. He knows, because he is Digg, that Oliver planted a bug on him and will likely be there any second. And sure enough, the arrows begin to fly.
Gaynor winds up dead. Carly is safe. Digg is sad. Oliver considers it a good night's work and scampers off home.
Thea, having spotted Mommy Dearest and Papa Merlyn together, decides that she can't deal anymore so she bails on her birthday party with a fistful of drugs in her hand. She gets high and gets behind the wheel of the car she was given to buy back her love and promptly veers into a ditch.
Okay, Thea, you now have a very deep hole to climb out of with me. Your little "woe is me" antics were annoying at first, but this was going too far. I don't care how large of a pity party you are throwing for yourself, you have no business getting on the road stoned and endangering innocent people.
Fortunately, by the end of the episode, she gets arrested for driving under the influence. Which sets up next week's episode, I guess, where Oliver goes after the drug dealers who in no way forced those drugs down her throat or put her behind the wheel of a car.
Let's hope the writers get their groove back soon, shall we?
