Previously on The Vampire Diaries, this happened:
Vampire Diaries Voice Over (VDV0): Road trip!
Morning breaks over the Island of Misfit Vampires. Damon's lashed to a tree like an extra from the road company of L.A. Tool & Die while the New Hunter (Charlie Bewley) roasts a coney for breakfast. The sizzling sounds and Damon's groans of discomfort indicate that the ropes are soaked in vervain. New Hunter asks if something's paining Damon, who cites mosquitos. New Hunter: “How does it feel when a relentless eating machine is draining the blood from your veins?” Damon: “Itchy.” Hee!
New Hunter's been killing vampires all his life but his Mark never completed until two days ago when it suddenly did. At this point I surrender. I don't understand the Hunter mythology and am beginning to suspect it was deliberately designed not to make sense. Damon scoffs at the idea that he knows anything about tattoos. “I mean, look at my skin. It's flawless.”
New Hunter realizes that Damon isn't taking him seriously, because he doesn't know him. New Hunter shoves a metal implement into Damon's neck and introduces himself as Galen Vaughn. Title card!
Elsewhere on the island Elena gives Caroline a sit rep by cell phone. Imagine the roaming charges! With Shane gone, they need the Hunter's sword to decode pictures of Jeremy's tattoo. Rebekah insists that Klaus will never give up the sword, but the group figures that with Klaus trapped they should have no problem finding the sword on their own. Caroline departs the Gilbert house where she's staying with Klaus for who knows what reason in search of the sword.
Shane, Bonnie, an inexplicably untied Jeremy and Mah Sock arrive at the Hellmouth hatch well. Mah Sock will go no further. He doesn't care about Silas; he just wants to get paid for capturing Bonnie and Jeremy. Shane hands over Silas's tombstone and Mah Sock departs. Bonnie's incredulous that the tombstone was nothing but barter. Shane explains that the core of the stone is Qetsiyah's “calcified blood” which, whatever, but it's insanely valuable. File that tidbit of information away.
Caroline and Tyler arrive back at the Gilbert house with the sword and honestly, is there no better place they could study? Tyler's discovered a cryptex in the sword's handle.
Using it and pictures of Jeremy's tat obtained through “the magic of the Internet” Caroline makes ready to “cryptex away”. Bad enough you're dragging Dan Brown into this, show, do you really need to make “cryptex” a verb? Klaus suggests they use the magic of the Internet to order an Aramaic-to-English dictionary from “the nearest retail establishment”. Right, Klaus, like there are any brick and mortar bookstores left. Tyler wonders what Aramaic is and Caroline, always the brains of the operation, exposits that it's a dead language from biblical times. Klaus laments that it could take them days or even weeks to translate even with a good dictionary and wistfully says in Aramaic, “if only you spoke Aramaic.”
Elena gripes and moans about how everyone's in danger again because of her and it's a fair point. She and Stefan yammer about why Stefan would want to take the cure and he says he wanted to return to being human long before he met her.
As Galen leads Damon through the forest on a leash (which, hawt) he exposits that he plans to use Damon as leverage to force Bonnie to open a passageway to Silas and the cure, where Galen will retrieve the cure, force feed it to Silas and then kill Silas, thus fulfilling the mission of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Tats.
For the second time in as many weeks Damon explains how the whole Bonnie-Damon relationship is simply not a solid motivational foundation to coerce either of them. Damon reasonably suggests working together so that each side can take their share of the cure and depart in peace. Galen says that Damon just doesn't get it.
Meanwhile Caroline and Tyler have translated all of the symbols: “It eats you, starting with your bottom.” Not quite right. We go back and forth between the island and Mystic Falls and between Galen's exposition and Klaus's translations the upshot is there is only one dose of the cure.
Jeremy and Bonnie rappel down into the well. Bonnie injures her hand, spilling some blood. That means Grams, yes? While waiting for Shane to join them Jeremy expresses (heh) concern that Bonnie may not be able to control whatever spell she has to cast. Bonnie swears that no matter what she won't let Shane raise Silas and that if Shane raises a finger against them she'll kill him herself. Meanwhile, Bonnie's blood seeps into the cavern floor. It drips through the ceiling of a lower cavern onto something which in the dim light resembles a human form.
On the surface Becky fields a call from Mystic Falls. Caroline lets her know that they're sending the map and translations and Klaus pipes up that it was all thanks to him. Rebekah is skeptical that he would help them but he insists he wants her to live and die as she chooses, and oh by the way there's just the one dose so you'd better get to it first. Tyler fumbles the phone off but it's too late. Why were you on speaker to begin with?
Damon and Galen are still tramping through the woods exchanging light banter and death threats. Damon wonders why if Galen's so concerned about not getting to the cure first he killed the guy who tried to kill Jeremy and Elena. Galen denies all knowledge and Damon's not buying it until they stumble across one dead Mah Sock.
“Damon: “That you?” Galen: “No...you?” Damon: “No.” These two are my new favorite pairing. Damon hasn't been this much fun since Alaric died.
Down in the well Shane's spewing more cult nonsense and ordering Bonnie and Jeremy to look for the passage in the form of anything that doesn't occur in nature, like the perfect circle inscribed in the floor right below Shane's feet.
Stefan, Elena and Rebekah, who has somehow managed not to mention the “one dose” thing, arrive at the cliff opposite the well entrance. Elena jumps down and instead of immediately following, Becky tells Stefan about the single dose problem. Then she snaps his neck. Elena sees him collapse.
Bonnie starts to work her mojo with a stripped down Jeremy.
His tattoo starts to vanish, as does Galen's. The magic triggers an earthquake and cave-in. As the dust settles Jeremy calls out for Bonnie. She's fine and the passage is open. Shane's not so fine. His leg is broken. Bonnie: “Best to stay off it, then.” Cold-blooded, I love it.
Galen and Damon arrive at the Wellmouth and how they beat Rebekah there is a topographical mystery. Galen decides it's time to kill Damon and starts that process by cutting the rope binding Damon to him, which makes perfect sense. Damon rips off the rest of the ropes but before they can fully square off Rebekah arrives.
Topside, Stefan has informed Elena about the one dose rule. She decides to refuse the cure even if offered to her because it's time to figure out how to live her new life. A life, Stefan notes, in which she's sired to Damon. Elena decides to think about that when she gets home. The thought of home reminds her that if they don't force feed Klaus the cure he'll kill everyone. Elena declares “Pity party over.” After three and a half seasons it's about damn time.
Speaking of home, Tyler starts freaking out on the Gilbert porch. Without a cure to force feed Klaus, Tyler is lunch meat. Caroline tries to calm him down, saying she'll try to work on Klaus.
An over-confident Becky moves on Galen, who hits her with a few wooden rounds and then detonates some kind of damn grenade in the middle of her chest, impaling her on about a half-dozen wooden spikes. She's out. Next he rounds on Damon and pins him to a wall with some kind of bolo gun that wraps vervain-infused cords around Damon's throat before wrapping around a support beam. It would look amazing if the scene weren't illuminated by an Itty Bitty Book Light. Galen rappels down the shaft.
Stefan and Elena discover Damon and Stefan works to free him as Elena goes on ahead.
Bonnie and Jeremy work their way through the mystic passageway to the conservatory; Bonnie senses the way to go and just as she's about to enter a fork Grams appears!
Bonnie wonders what she's doing there and Grams tells her this is a place where the living can talk with the dead. Bonnie apologizes for everything that's happened but grams says it's all right. All she has to do is feed Silas and Grams will return.
Jeremy realizes that if Grams were really there he'd be able to see her too. He tells Bonnie that Grams is a hallucination that Silas is using to try to control her. Grams vanishes. Bonnie realizes that Shane is also being controlled, by his visions of his dead wife. Jeremy leads Bonnie forward.
Caroline asks Klaus for Tyler's life and he refuses. She says she isn't asking for his forgiveness, just for the chance for Tyler to live somewhere far away out of Klaus's way. Klaus recites Tyler's supposed litany of sins, including his plan to force the cure on him to kill him. Caroline's all we all want the cure and Klaus is all do we and Caroline is all it's not like I'd get the one dose anyway and Klaus is all even if you did you wouldn't take it because you are entirely awesome. She does not deny it.
Klaus agrees to give Tyler whatever head start he can get while Bonnie's confinement spell remains in effect. Caroline and Tyler have another tearful goodbye in which she begs him to tell her that he will live a happy life without her and never think of her again and he agrees and they are both completely lying.
Stefan frees Damon and they waste time arguing about which one of them should go after Elena. Stefan goes.
Elena's in the mystic passage to the conservatory and hears a noise. She calls out for Stefan (and not Damon). A female voice says “Elena” and an unknown vampire who is obviously Katharine puts Elena down.
Stefan discovers the injured Shane who asks for a drop or two of healing vampire blood. He offers to take Stefan the rest of the way in exchange but Stefan demands to know if he knew there was only one dose of the cure. Shane says no and insists that everything he did was to bring back his wife and son. Stefan: “Well then you know what it's like to have hope and now you know what it's like to lose it.” Stefan abandons him. Shane sees his wife Caitlyn and apologizes for failing her. The First Caitlyn assures him that he did everything she asked of him and that everything will be all right.
Bonnie and Jeremy arrive at what appears to be a crypt, the same crypt upon which Bonnie's blood dripped earlier. A human form atop it clutches something in its arms. Jeremy is incredulous that the tiny thing has the power to cure every vampire in the world and Bonnie doubts that it does.
They try to pry the cure loose but can't budge the “fossilized” arms. Bonnie figures that Silas has been “frozen like a vampire statue” for 20 centuries and that the only way to get the cure is to feed Silas, to wake him up.
Damon removes the wooden shrapnel from Rebekah for no good reason that I can figure.
She wonders why he didn't go with the others and surmises that Damon has given up. He denies it, saying he has come to understand that he can't control everything and has found peace with that. She refuses to believe it, saying that he loves Elena and always will and that if she becomes human he might reject him. Damon: “Life sucks. Get a helmet.” She calls him a halfway decent person.
Jeremy tries to break the arms off of Silas to get to the cure with no success. Bonnie's attempt to reason out another approach is interrupted when she get a dagger up the strap from Galen. He tells Jeremy that they must raise Silas and they must do it now.
Jeremy rushes to Bonnie's side while Galen cuts himself and tries to feed Silas so he can kill him. Jeremy attacks him and while he holds his own for a while Galen eventually puts him down. He's about to bleed Jeremy when a vampire portrayed by Nina Dobrev pulls him off. The vampire portrayed by Nina Dobrev is about to rip Galen's throat out when Jeremy warns her of the Hunter's Curse. She tosses Galen aside like a rag doll instead and hauls Jeremy to his feet.
Caroline's grieving on the porch when Klaus exits the Gilbert place. Bonnie's stabbing caused the containment spell to collapse. He assures her he won't harm her. She snaps back “You've done enough” and he responds that he's done more than enough, having shown compassion and pity, all for her. They exchange Significant Glances and Klaus leaves.
In the mystic passageway to the conservatory Stefan discovers a vampire portrayed by Nina Dobrev. It's Elena, of course.
At Silas's chamber Jeremy comforts Bonnie and asks a vampire portrayed by Nina Dobrev to heal Bonnie with her blood. She's more interested in getting the cure and when Jeremy insists she help Bonnie first Katharine remarks that she'd forgotten what a brat Jeremy could be. She grabs him, opens a vein in his wrist and presses it to Silas's mouth. When that doesn't work fast enough she rips his throat open and presses that to Silas's mouth.
Silas's arms loosen up enough for Katharine to snatch the cure and escape. As Bonnie bleeds out, Silas snaps Jeremy's neck and he falls dead to the floor.
I continue to be amazed at how entertaining this show makes the quest for something that I don't care about.
