I was all set for this week's The Good Wife to be a downright quaint episode, but it spiraled into an hour of contentious, near-histrionic bliss. Didn't the setup seem adorable? Alicia and Cary, precious pals who play footsie and switch lunches at recess, are pitted on a team against Will and Diane in a mock trial courtroom case for a choosy energy drink client who pays for a scrimmage version of his hearing. Aw, Cary and Alicia vs. Will and Diane! Tag team testifiers! Will Diane wear a threatening halter top like Trish Stratus? I drew up some sketches just in case.
Unfortunately, the scrimmage rivalry COMES ALIVE (quothGoosebumps) when Alicia and Cary's firm partnerships are postponed a year as a way of saving the firm some interim money. Cary uses his dimples to think of a plan, and he's got a dynamite one: He and Alicia could form their own firm, screw over Lockhart Gardner, and run off with a couple of key clients. Alicia considers the plan and smiles in her typical Alicia way, like she was just granted momentary respite from her years-long headache, and it seems like the two will run off to a land where the smart blazers and perfect dimples never end.
Then Will and Diane catch wind of the rogue duo's plan, and to thwart their effort, Alicia is offered a full and immediate partnership again. She accepts, which leaves Cary (and Kalinda) in the dust. You do not want Kalinda on your non-side. She power-smirks in a Dangerous Liaisons way.
Anyway: Enthralling stuff. Here were my five favorite moments of note.
1. The Adventures of Eli and Elsbeth: Coming to Court TV and Animal Planet this fall!
Elsbeth is secretly the best. Other characters may joke about her nuttiness, but she's hiding a world of schemes behind that shaky grin. When she joined forces with Eli to take down the prosecutor on his case (Kyle MacLachlan), she became superheroic when she helped trick the nefarious David LaGuardia (Hamish Linklater) into admitting to Eli's hidden bugging device that he tampered with an official court document. Oh, how Kyle Maclachlan fretted! You'd have thought Charlotte York's white pants had gotten the kids' fingerpaint on them. Credit must go to The Good Wife for squeezing in such a juicy mini-thriller alongside the operatically huge Alicia storyline. It was like a little John Grisham book sandwiched against a larger John Grisham book! I give you The Pelican, Briefly.
2. Poor Cary.
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Cary and Alicia have one of the coolest bonds on the show, so it's heartbreaking to watch them break off at the hip. But God, does Cary get cute when he's upset. His blue eyes open like Pixar lamps and his professional smile betrays a hint of childlike sads. Of all the lawyers on TV, Cary is the only one I can easily picture wearing Max's costume from Where the Wild Things Are. He's ferocious and a monster! And also five.
Based on the last shot where he and Kalinda peered on as Alicia was announced as a new equity partner, do we think those two are up to something? I can't decide what it would be. I imagine Kalinda barely allowing words of disparagement to slip from her pursed, perfect mouth. And Cary just dimpling in silence, out of control.
3. Remember when Alicia TROUNCED Will and Diane in court? I do.
As tensions grew between the competing parts of the mock trial, Alicia reminded us why she's the titular character of this operation: She zapped those jurors with bullet point after bullet point about why the "Thief" energy drink company should be held responsible for a young teen's death, and Diane basically threw up her titanium arms in defeat on day one. Gotta love watching Alicia function at her coolest: Never a word is out of place when she steps in front of a judge, and her confidence seems to jump when she's challenged. She knows what she's entitled to, and her methods of getting that result are so self-contained and controlled that you have to remind yourself how amazing she is. She's a truly dynamic character. Respect, doll. You fought Canterbury's Law and won. I kid, I kid!
4. Shamorexia.
There was one part of the mock trial I found weirdly suspect: Remember when the dead Thief-drinker's weight was analyzed based on pictures and it was deduced that because she was underweight, she had to have had anorexia? That is sloppy lawyering. People are underweight all the time, and that doesn't mean they're starving themselves or even truly unhealthy. For an episode steeped in perfect little bursts of dialogue, this felt like a momentary lapse into an amateur teleplay.
5. Oh, yeah. This happened.
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Well, there you have it. After an intense mock-argument, Will stormed into Alicia's office and scolded her for bringing real issues into the Playskool courtroom. The former lovers' disagreement escalated into delirium fast, with Alicia nearly unhinging her jaw to explain how mad and serious she was. The two got closer and closer, and it was impossible not to wonder if these busted romantics were going to rekindle something. Except then they did in a hasty moment, which turned out to feel completely ridiculous, and Alicia stormed off cursing her own ridiculous behavior. I can't decide whether this is an inspired moment of scripting or just an uncomfortable foray into an ancient storyline, but it says something about the wacky layers of tensions between these two. At least they're good at making those illicit seven seconds worth it, am I right? Full-tilt neck attack there, Will!
What'd you think of this episode? Action-packed? Who's side are you on -- Cary's or Alicia's?
