Death comes to the Hamptons, and a Torchwood favorite joins the cast! No, not thatTorchwood favorite. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one. The other one.
Look on the bright side. It could be a Carnival Cruise.
Jack and Amanda are enjoying their honeymoon cruise, making love under the stars and laughing uncontrollably trying to name sexually suggestive boat words (let's see, there's gangway, foresail, jackstaff ... poop deck). Their mariltal bliss is short-lived when Jack discovers a pack of cigarettes on board and asks Amanda who was smoking. Turns out it was Teen Wolf Dad's Brother (who I will honor in his final episode by calling him by his name ... That Guy From Battlestar Galactica), and he's decided to entertain Jack and Amanda on their honeymoon by acting out the Billy Zane role in Dead Calm.
He's actually there because he thinks Jack made Conrad back out of the Stowaway deal, and he wants to know what the hell happened. Amanda feigns ignorance (Jack doesn't need to feign), and Jack suggests they get Conrad on the phone to clear up everything. BSG Guy calls Conrad, who tells him that it was Amanda who masterminded the plan, and if he can bring back her Laptop Of Secrets, he'll be rewarded far beyond his wildest dreams. Oh, and additionally ... get rid of her.
Ashley pays a visit to Emily and tells her that she knows Amanda blackmailed Conrad ... somehow ... using ... something ... on a laptop, and she's in big trouble if she thinks she can go up against the Graysons. Emily checks the cubbyhole and discovers her laptop is gone, and realizes that Amanda just used every trump card in the Revenge deck.
Best.Photobomb.Ever.
Emily visits the Stowaway, where Charlotte and Declan are taking care of baby Carl, and there's a bit of nonsense involving a malfunctioning air conditioner (in fact, they made so many mentions of this broken air conditioner, I thought for sure it was going to play some part in the actual story, i.e. "Ooh, there's something hidden in the air conditioner!"), but no, it was just ... a broken air conditioner.
Charlotte is busy downloading the wedding pics, and in a frankly hilarious moment, Emily notices something strange and eerie in the corner of one of the pictures of Jack and Amanda getting ready to sail off ... BSG Guy! (or maybe it was the ghost of a boy who died below deck while the movie Three Men And a Dinghy was being filmed).
Emily enlists the help of Nolan to track BSG Guy's phone, and when they discover he's on the boat, they realize Jack and Amanda are in imminent danger, and set sail themselves to intervene. Meanwhile, Amanda tries a different approach with BSG Guy. She tells him about the blackmail scheme, and the only reason she came back to The Hamptons and married Jack was to hatch her plan for Revenge against the Graysons. But she brought the laptop with her, and she'll give it to him if he promises not to hurt Jack.
Take it Declan. It's the only fan you'll ever have.
"Remember that time in Juvie when we shanked that guard? That's what i'll treasure most."
He agrees, but when Amanda reaches into her duffle bag to retrieve the laptop, she pulls out a gun instead! An empty gun! BSG Guy had combed the deck while Jack and Amanda were making waves down below, and dismantled any potential weapon.
Jack is locked below and hears their conversation, and finds the laptop. He devises his own plan, which involves staging a fight with Amanda over her deception, and he tells BSG Guy that he saw her bring a laptop onboard, and it must be somewhere below deck. As BSG Guy searches for it, Jack and Amanda continue to pretend argue, as Jack prepares a dinghy for them to escape with. Jack locks the door, trapping BSG Guy inside, but before he and Amanda can jump into the dingy, BSG Guy tries to shoot his way out, and one of the bullets hits Jack in the stomach. Amanda frantically shoves Jack into the dinghy and pushes it off, but is knocked out by BSG Guy in the process.
She regains consciousness below deck and realizes that BSG Guy is trying to get to Jacks' dinghy (aren't we all), and she decides to sink the boat. Meanwhile, Emily and Nolan have tracked down the dinghy, and she orders Nolan to get Jack to the hospital while she goes after Amanda. As Nolan speeds off into the night, Emily boards the boat, and brings the beat down on BSG Guy. As they struggle, his gun goes off, hitting a propane tank, and as the gas starts to leak, Amanda grabs the gun and shoots him. Realizing the boat may blow at any moment, they rush to escape, but when Emily jumps into the dinghy, Amanda hesitates. It proves to be a fatal decision.
Symbolism
She sees her necklace on the boat deck, and when she rushes back to retrieve it, BSG Guy is holding a lighter, and before she can react, he lights it, igniting the gas. The explosion throws her into Emily's arms, and they collapse onto the dignity. Sadly, it's too late for Amanda, and as she draws her last gasp, she places the necklace in Emily's hand and we get a flashback to the Juvie days. Amanda thanks Emily for giving her the one thing she always wanted ... a family, and makes her promise to take care of Jack. Emily breaks down sobbing as she pushes Amanda's body into the ocean water. This is so Jack and Rose in Titanic. Well, if Jack and Rose were lesbians.
And as expected, the dead body in the boat who they wanted us to believe was Jack was actually Nate (Oh that's right, his name was Nate!)
You scrub and scrub but it won't come out
The Graysons are dealing with their own problems this week, namely a dead body in the beach house. Daniel and Conrad are rolling Helen up in a carpet, and frankly, doing a piss poor job of it. Seriously, shouldn't they be more adept at this? I'm sure "body disposal" is a required class before buying property in The Hamptons. Before they can cart her off, Helen's phone rings, It's her chauffeur, who's still in the driveway waiting for her. Oops. Thankfully, Victoria has a plan, and it involves ... unrolling the carpet. You don't mean ... yes ... Victoria puts Helen's clothes on, and somehow fools the chauffeur into thinking she's The Initiative operative.
The next step is to get The Initiative to believe that the Graysons have no idea what happened to Helen, so Victoria and Daniel stage a conversation in his office, fully aware of the "hidden" cam that's capturing everything. And they decide that the best way to deflect suspicion is to make it appear that it's business as usual, so they prepare the Grayson Labor Day shindig, where Conrad will announce his run for Governor.
To further throw off the scent, they implicate Amanda in everything as much as possible, and when Victoria goes to The Stowaway to ask Charlotte to attend the party, she hides Helen's scarf and phone under Amanda's bed.
It appears to be working, and the party goes off without a hitch, until Victoria and Conrad start mingling with the guests, and meet a man named Trask (Burn Gorman, from Torchwood), who wants to know what happened to Helen. They insist him they have no idea, but tell him the life story of Amanda, and how she might be a good place to start.
Trask searches The Stowaway, finds Helen's scarf and phone, and when he listens to the messages, hears Padma telling Helen that she has the Carrion program, but the only way she'll convince Nolan to give up the secret code is if Helen provides proof that her father is still alive. Trask calls The Initiative, tells them Helen has been compromised, and "I'll have to arrange delivery." Delivery of ... what?
"If I hear the name Ianto one more time ..."
"Well, it's too small to be Gwyneth Paltrow's head."
While Nolan is busy with Jack, he asks Aiden to help out Padma. She's initially reluctant, but Nolan explains that Aiden knows exactly what shes going through, and she agrees. Aiden is the one who convinces her to ask for proof of life, and he's there when a small package is delivered from The Initiative. When Padma calls Helen, Trask answers and says that he's in charge of all their dealings from now on. She demands proof of her father's life, and he says, "I believe you just signed for it. Feel free to check the fingerprint."
She wanted proof, there's her proof.
And that's it until March 10th!
Well, this was the episode we've been waiting for since this wildly erratic Season Two began (the show managed to pull of a couple of good episodes in a row), and sets up Emily's Extra Super Revenge in the last part of the season.
What did you think about killing off Amanda? Was it her time? Who should be next/
