Annette Funicello, the gays miss you! The onetime Mouseketeer was damn fab, and it takes one viewing of Beach Blanket Bingo to know she kept a lot of starpower in her hips.
But the Disney alumna's death got me thinking: How many classic Disney characters were probably gay? I know it's stupid to assign sexuality to ancient cartoon characters, but it's stupid-er to pretend they couldn't have been gay at all. And with that, let's talk about how gay they all were. Mickey Mouse, Jafar, Pinocchio, Chip & Dale, and Buzz and Woody from Toy Story, watch out: Someone's tugged on my pull-string, and now I can't stop spewing gay catchphrases.
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