This week's The Walking Dead emphasizes important aspects of our heroes' post-apocalyptic political beliefs: namely, a Rick Perry–esque support of the death penalty. So much for prisons rehabilitating offenders.
We can change, promise!
Everything kicks off right where the last episode ended. An audience of convicts admires Herschel's skill at bleeding all over the damn place following his leg's amputation. Our heroes quickly hustle Stumpy back to home base, closely pursued by their new found neighbors. He's immediately provided medical treatment by Carol, giving his chances of survival... a leg up.
Okay, even I'm ashamed of that pun. Sorry everyone.
Daryl, Rick and T-Dog have a tense meeting with their inmate visitors, learning how they ended up in that cafeteria in the first place. Apparently when the zombie party started 10 months ago, a guard was nice enough to give them a gun and lock them in the one place with tons of food. It's a very realistic scenario, not like the prison guards first priority would be their own survival rather than some criminals' well being.
Not having set foot outside the cafeteria for just under a year, the jailbirds have no idea that life on the outside ain't what it used to be. They inquire if Rick has a cellphone to check on their families with, when the prison's WiFi will be back online and if there's anywhere still open they could grab brunch at. Afterwards it's all casual mentions of how this cell block used to be their home and they'd really like it back, shank you very much.
A deal quickly gets brokered: the convicts will be provided with weapons and help clearing out a new cell block in exchange for half their food. If there's anything life has taught Rick and company at this point, it's that giving a bunch of potentially homicidal strangers weapons is such a good idea.
Wow! There's enough bread crumbs here to feed us for life!
Meanwhile, Herschel is off having the easiest time recovering from a leg getting cut off by a perfectly sterile hatchet. It's probably all due to Maggie's support, as she tenderly assures him everything will be all right. Just kidding, Maggie tells him it's okay to die and he doesn't “have to fight anymore.” I haven't seen bedside manners this great since Dr. Kevorkian was in practice. Rick assigns Glenn to watch after Herschel, just in case he does die and comes back as a zombie.
Daryl and Rick provide a clinic in Killing Walkers 101 for their new felonious friends, prepping them to take the new cell block. They're slow learners and don't quite grasp the concept of “go for the brain”, attacking their enemies with the subtlety of a prison riot. The larger inmate Big Tiny gets bit during the fracas, which awkwardly leads to Rick explaining their “Old Yeller” zombie bite policy. Another convict quickly picks up on what Rick's putting down, enthusiastically murdering Big Tiny.
Back at the ranch, Carol realizes if Herschel goes under someone will need to deliver Lori's baby. Knowing a c-section may be necessary, she enlists Glenn in acquiring a cadaver to practice this procedure on. Gosh, wonder where they'll find a dead body?
A suitably feminine walker gets murdered for science, and Carol begins chopping into that zombie uterus. An undisclosed observer watches from afar while this occurs, which must make a great first impression. Our aforementioned peeping tom is never shown. It's all but guaranteed to be Michionne, as neither she nor Andrea make an appearance all episode.
Hopefully that provides some context for what's going on here.
Before our heroes throw their new neighbors a walker killing cellwarming party, Daryl takes Rick aside. Apparently he's so impressed by Big Tiny's murderer's can–do attitude when it comes to viciously ending human life he offers to “put him down” for Rick.
With this ringing endorsement they assault the cell block, and said psychotic prisoner promptly throws a zombie on top of Rick. Following the battle, Rick thanks him for this with a machete to the head. Glad they could work out their differences. This sends another inmate running into a walker infested prison yard, where Rick locks the door behind him. It's another great illustration of how he's transformed from Mr. Nice Guy to firmly believing morals have no place in this harsh new world. The remaining two prisoners are given the cell block.
He was complaining about a “splitting headache”
During all this, Carl proves what a precocious little badass he's turning into by clearing out the infirmary all on his lonesome. He returns bearing bandages and antibiotics. These medical supplies are obviously just what Herschel needed, as he decides now's the time to take Maggie's advice and stop breathing. Knowing the best thing to do when someone could turn into a hungry hungry walker at any moment is providing mouth–to–mouth resuscitation, Lori administers CPR. This sends Herschel into spasms and restores him to health. Maybe all Sleeping Beauty needed was a kiss to wake up.
Everything ends with Rick and Lori sharing a tender moment together. Lori takes a page from Arrested Development's playbook, saying she's been a terrible mother and Rick reassures her she's actually doing a great job. He gives Lori's shoulder just a 'lil squeeze, which means all their marital woes are over and everything will be sunshine and rainbows from here on in.
All our marital problems filled me with Shane... Shame! Meant to say shame. Slip of the tongue.
I can't wait to see Rick and company interact with their two new cellmates. Chances are they'll join the team soon enough, as an entire cell block is a pretty big space for a couple of bachelors to live forever. Previews for next week's episode also reveal Michionne will make her presence known then. Thank god for that, as I'm fiending for more katana-powered zombie decapitations. What do you think will happen to our new friends, the convicts? Does Herschel have a leg to stand on (sorry again!) or will he hold the group back? Comment and let us know!
