I'm in trouble, guys. Arrow has become too awesome for me to snark about. I'm so going to get fired. Katie Cassidy is apparently no longer taking the sedatives she was on during the first four episodes, Stephen Amell has mastered the dichotomy of playing the insipid party boy who is really a righteous vigilante and they've even ditched the really overwrought voiceovers.
What can I make fun of now?
I mean, first we have this crazy awesome sexy scene with shirtless Ollie training with Digg in the Arrow Cave. That's not funny. That's hot! If Digg had been shirtless too, they would have had to slap a NSFW label on the screen.
After that, whilst I mop up drool, Digg tells Oliver that they should go and put a stop to some nasty bank robbers who shot a cop. Rather than Oliver saying something like, "You're right, old chum, we must put a stop to these dastardly thieves!" Oliver gets all moody and gripes that he can't stop all the crime in the city. He has his "to do" list (maybe it's a "to kill" list, but why quibble?) and that's all he has time for.
As if my snark-deficit situation wasn't dire enough already, we have another plot point that I don't even know what they are doing with but I am filled with dread that it, too, will be awesome.
It seems Tommy Merlyn really does mean to mend his ways to make Laurel think he is worthy of her. Aside from the fact that I have no idea what this has to do with the rest of the show, there's nothing wrong with this plot. In fact, to my horror, Laurel and Tommy have real chemistry and I find myself rooting for them.
What's a poor recapper to do with that?
My evening goes from bad to worse as Digg totally tricks Oliver into going along with his "nab the bank-robbers" plan. Thanks Digg. Thanks loads. You couldn't just be a pouty little bitch so I could complain that you were being written out of character? I'm just saying, you could throw me a bone.
But noooo... Digg insists on being unbelievably wonderful and the strongest character on the show next to Oliver. The caring older-brother kind of role he has taken on, trying to keep Oliver from slipping over the edge, is just so noble and fantastic. He's like the purest character on the show and maybe the only one who actually cares about Oliver.
See what I mean? I should be mocking the show and here I am singing its praises. I have failed as a recapper.
Laurel's scrappy band of underpaid lawyers are about to lose their jobs as their biggest donor has apparently pulled out. In rides Tommy to the rescue. And here, yes, finally I have something to snark about! Tommy is going to write a check like the trust-fund brat that he is which will upset Laurel because it will make her think...
Wait, what do you mean he's instead doing a benefit to help Laurel's legal eagles? But that won't work at all! That's actually thoughtful and smart and helps Laurel without just giving her charity.
Laurel complains that it is charity. I know she's just trying to make this recapper feel better, but it's too late.
Fine, show, be that way.
Finally, halfway through, they toss me a crumb. Oliver can hack bank accounts to return money to the disenfranchised but he can't do an internet search for some dude he wants to find. It's not much, but I'll take it. Unless this is just a sneaky excuse to bring in the faboo Felicity Smoak, played by the outstanding Alona Tal. You wouldn't do me that way, would you show?
I think I've been swindled.
Of course, they really put that scene over the top by having Digg make a funny. I love his dry sense of humor.
Just to make sure I'm sorry for every unflattering thing I've ever even thought about Arrow, the writers go and even make the bank robbers interesting. Yes, they do. No, it's not fair.
It seems that they are a family who lost everything. The father worked for Queen Industries and he got fired so his job could be sent overseas. He also lost his pension, because Oliver's dad was a bad, awful man.
Yep, this bank robber is one of Mitt Romney's 47% and he's out to get his. Oliver tries to talk him down, but mommy-robber won't go without her son and her son won't quit until they're on easy street. So they're going for one more score.
Meanwhile at the shindig Tommy set up for Laurel, things get even worse for me. Tommy gives Laurel this incredibly sincere and sweet speech that lays bare his feelings for her and she is completely overwhelmed. Then she goes off to dance with a doctor who also had a part in this episode that no one really cared about.
That frees Tommy up to have a talk with Thea. As I've said, even when the character annoys me, I've always liked the way that Willa Holland plays the role. Apparently, that praise was not enough to keep her from piling onto my misery.
Thea is broken. No one pays any attention to her. And for the first time ever, when she talks about that fact, it seems sad instead of petulant. She's alone and lost and everyone in her life is too busy to notice or care.
Except Tommy. He cares. He doesn't care enough to go to jail for statutory rape, but he does care enough to hold her hair back while she vomits in the alley.
Oliver intervenes in the bank-robbers' final score and inevitably it leads to the death of the father. And it's sad. How much pathos can they stuff into this show, anyway?
Mommy Dearest is also lonely. One could argue that since she killed her husband, she doesn't have as much right to complain. But there is a sorrow that Susanna Thompson conveys that makes you think her pain is real and not feigned.
But saying to your son that you don't know why he bothered to come back from the island at all? So not cool. Not sure having burgers with him is enough to make up for that little jab.
My Excitement-O-Meter broke into many tiny pieces after this week's episode. I don't know if it can be fixed. Suffice to say that I love this show way more than I expected to (or even wanted to). If it doesn't knock this off — and I meant right now— it's in danger of being the most awesome show on TV.
Was it good for you?
