Torture abounds in “When the Dead Come Knocking”, but its cruelest enhanced interrogation techniques don't come from The Governor or Merle. Those two should learn about inflicting pain from Chris Hardwick. His clumsily inserted hashtag during the Talking Dead promo spot certainly made me suffer. #MakeItStop
Low tech cyborg Merle goes all Guantanamo Bay on Glenn, trying to beat Daryl's location out of him. Punctuating this abuse with choice epithets about T-Dog reminds everyone Edward Switchbladehands still has racist tendencies. After remembering T-Dog's outspoken nature, Glenn responds by way of interpretative headbutt. Potential hashtags: #RacistanceIsFutile #GoodHeadGlenn
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You've got something on your mouth there.
Back in prison Rick casually stares as walkers notice Michionne's edibility. Maybe Lori's passing left him feeling that dying is women's work, as he walks off leaving her helpless. Carl finally shoots down their visitor's attackers. This makes his dad decide saving Michionne could be a family bonding activity, and Rick carries her to safety. Potential hashtag: #LikeFatherLikeGun
Michionne's got serious deja vu when strange people take her sword. She's understandably suspicious when offered medical care and safe passage in exchange for information. This initial silence gets met with Rick painfully squeezing her wound, and Michionne opens up about Glenn and Maggie's kidnapping. While Rick's interrogation seem gentle compared to Merle's Gestapo tactics, it still felt like a forced reminder “Hey! Rick's not moral any more guys!” Potential hashtag: #SqueezingOutInformation.
Cue Rick, Oscar, Daryl and Michionne mounting a rescue mission. Oscar's inclusion significantly lowers his survivability quotient. Recently introduced character who barely speaks? If this were Star Trek, Oscar would be wearing red. Potential Hashtag: #MichionneImpossible
Before embarking on this quest, Rick and Carl finally name The Baby Formerly Known as Little Asskicker. They settle on Judith. Let's consult The Book Of Character Name Meanings otherwise known as The Bible. Following Judith anger at her countrymen lacking faith God would save them from conquerors, she seduced the enemy leader and decapitated him. Good luck doing that with walkers. Potential Hashtag: #JudifferentNamePlz
Next, Andrea gets enlisted in a 6th grade science fair project from Hell. Dreamboat Milton's testing whether a dying man he's specially trained can answer questions post-turning, after which Andrea will provide him last rites. Andrea quickly points out this is quite dumb, I point out Milton should wear less clothing... for science, of course. Naturally Andrea saves Stupid McSmartSmart's when the test subject attacks. Potential Hashtag: #Miltonsexperiment
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Now kiss.
Merle's next plan is the old Good Cop/Bad Bop interrogation. He'll play good cop in the hallway, while a walker locked in the room with Glenn acts as Bad Cop. Even tied to a chair, Glenn doesn't take this sitting down. Seriously, he breaks free and stabs the zombie with a chair leg. Potential hashtag: #GlennterTheDragon
Don't worry, it gets worse. The Governor decides he'll question Maggie himself. Then makes her strip. Then threatens her with rape. Even this doesn't break Maggie. I haven't read the comic books, but have heard a similar situation involving The Governor (albeit involving different characters) occurs. Not including a rape sequence seems like the best move for The Walking Dead. There's already enough misery, doing so would seem excessive. Also it's right after this scene ends Chris Hardwick pops up with the #TeamPrison hashtag. It's #TeamPoorTiming, though he did apologize for it on Talking Dead.
Team Prison approaches Woodbury's outskirts on foot when walker hordes send them running into a nearby shed. It's apparently still inhabited by Rip van Winkle, who's slept through the zombie apocalypse and threatens calling the cops. Sleeping Beauty gets too feisty, and Michionne dispatches him. His body's fed to the Walkers who feast on various organs, and everyone escapes. Hilariously, The Walking Dead cuts from zombies chowing down on an intestine buffet to letting audiences know it's sponsored by KFC. Potential hashtag: #IntestinesOriginalRecipe
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Looks remarkably similar to Thanksgiving dinner.
Finally The Governor cracks his prisoners. Maggie reveals their base's location after Glenn's life is threatened. A small scouting party is sent to check it out, while Rick and his amateur commandos take positions outside Woodbury. While the prison gang is battle hardened, The Governor's sheltered army has numbers on their side. Depending on who lives and dies, next episode could reach Charles Dickens like levels of sadness. Potential Hashtag: #TaleOfTwoGrittyCities
Okay, apologies for that last hashtag. I'll show myself out now.
