Girls, the immensely enjoyable dramedy starring/directed by/written by Lena Dunham and concerning a diverse clique of twentysomething dames in New York, returns this Sunday, which may put a dent in my plans for a concentrated viewing of The Golden Globes. Ugh! Can't cable networks realize that award shows are too important to schedule programming against? Think of me, HBO.
But before Dunham (who plays the show's self-deprecating protagonist Hannah Horvath), and Allison Williams, Jemima Kirke, and Zosia Mamet begin to work it for another 10-episode arc, let's single out our five hopes for the series concerning gayness and gay-related interests. Gay-related means "nudity and sex," by the way. Onward.
1. Way more of Andrew Rannells schooling Marnie.
The New Normal is not my bag, but no one can deny that Andrew Rannells rules on Girls as Hannah's gay ex-boyfriend Elijah. Some of Elijah's notable accomplishments include nonchalantly giving Hannah HPV, assuring Hannah that her father is gay, and -- best of all -- unleashing damning monologues at Marnie about how self-centered she is and recreating the Moonstruck slap when the occasion calls for it. Now, get this: I am a defender of Marnie because she is utterly believable. But that's why I just love when her condescension and pettiness are called out, especially by an unexpected source like Elijah. Hopefully her career in getting owned has just begun, because I find it hilarious and satisfying.
2. A raunchy bisexual moment for the mysterious Booth Jonathan
The trailer for season two gave us a quick look at the return of Booth Jonathan (Jorma Taccone), the puckish artist who approached Marnie with pleasantries, then got right in her face and promised to nail her. His closing boast? "I'm a man, and I know how to do things." Marnie was overcome with the vapors afterward, and perhaps a few of us named Louis concurred on that front. Since we know the nefarious little man is coming back, why not explore his apparent love of spontaneous naughtiness with, oh, scalding hot bisexuality? Booth is an artist in New York who is young, and if he wants to be Bobby Mapplethorpe, he will require some nasty experimentation. I'm calling up the NEA to endow the hell out of his libido as we speak. And by the way, I'm perfectly OK with Booth stealing Elijah away from his dunderheaded rich boyfriend.
3. Less delirium from Shoshanna, and more of Shoshanna befriending gay people.
Shoshanna is both fascinating in her obvious repression and too garishly ridiculous to be believed. Most of her time was spent last season conferencing with her world-weary cousin Jessa, but I think what she really needs is a gay pal. She needs a qualified homosexual to tell her, "Stop hyperventilating. Open your mouth all the way when you speak. Wear white whenever, and don't cry about it again. Put on some pants because we're in the middle of the street. And also, settle the hell down." Naturally, the second best solution is a reunion with her old camp buddy pictured above (played by adorable Pitch Perfect alum Skylar Astin)
4. Even more mesmerizing shirtlessness from Adam
Surely Adam is one of Lena Dunham's greatest creations on the show. His lumbering weirdness is always unpredictable, even as he exhibits classic "dude" characterizations from generations past. Hell, he bluntly offered Hannah a Gatorade at some point. But I've always appreciated how nude he is on the show, because he has one crazy-ass, freaky-amazing, totally unconventional body. He's comic book buff, yet classically dopey. A winning dichotomy!
5. Way more of Charlie's "dumb straight guy" impression
Most people claim that Girls' first season improved as it went along, but one of my favorite moments was in episode two when Charlie attempted to imitate the alpha-dude paramour that Marnie requested he become. His bastardly bon mot? "Oh, f*ckin' suck it and then lay down and take a nap." Nonsense, yes, but kind of sexy in its poseur contrivance. If he did an entire episode in that voice, I might start to respect his dorkiness. As such, he's lame and his unfortunate new buzz-cut hurts my feelings.
